Australia Declares Crypto Public Enemy Number One in Anti-Money Laundering War!

Brendan Thomas, AUSTRAC’s fearless leader, made it crystal clear: they’re done with checking off boxes and pretending to care. The new proposal is being hailed as the most significant update to Australian anti-money laundering laws in an entire generation! That’s like a hundred years in crypto years – a truly earth-shattering shift.

Historic Crypto Bills Pass: But Will Trump Actually Sign Them? 🤔💸

The showstopper? The country’s poised-to-be-famous stablecoin bill, the GENIUS Act. Yes, you read that right—GENIUS! It’s now strutting its stuff all the way to President Donald Trump’s desk, like the prom queen ready for her crown. 💁‍♂️ Will he sign it, or will it end up gathering dust like last year’s fashion trends?

House Passes Clarity Act: A Crypto Comedy of Errors 🤣

Introduced by Rep. French Hill, the bipartisan H.R. 3633 divides oversight between the SEC and CFTC, with the CFTC regulating digital commodities like Bitcoin on mature blockchains and the SEC handling investment-related tokens. It clarifies definitions for terms like “digital commodity” and “blockchain,” exempts certain decentralized assets from SEC registration, and sets rules for trading platforms, brokers, and stablecoins. Despite support, the Act faced opposition from Democrats like Rep. Maxine Waters, who criticized it for weak consumer protections and potential conflicts with President Trump’s crypto ventures. The bill H.R. 3633 passed the House with a majority of 294 yeas to 134 nays.

Discover How Enlightify is Shaking Up Crypto with a Daring $20M Move! 💸

In an announcement that stirred the proverbial pot on July 17, the Cyber Foundation boldly stated that Enlightify Inc. intends to amass a staggering $20 million worth of CYBER tokens over the upcoming year, as part of its masterfully calculated digital asset treasury strategy. Dear reader, who said romance is dead? ⏳

Ripple’s Bold New Vision: Transforming the XRP Ledger Tokens for the Masses

In a dramatic announcement made on the digital platform known as X, the RippleX team unveiled their draft standard, XLS-0089d. This standard, as profound as it sounds, seeks to provide MPTs with a set of metadata fields on the ledger—a set that includes, no less, a ticker symbol, a human-readable name, a canonical icon URL, and, naturally, an “asset_class” taxonomy. The very audacity of it!

Banking on Crypto: Wall Street’s Stablecoin Saga Unfolds

Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan has confirmed that his bank is developing a stablecoin, although he remains tight-lipped about the specifics. Moynihan noted that while the bank has done considerable groundwork, it is still assessing client demand, which he described as currently low. He emphasized that the bank would proceed with the rollout at an appropriate time, potentially in collaboration with other industry players.

Japan’s Aplus Credit Card Now Lets You Earn XRP Without Spending a Yen! 🤑

For the first time, cryptocurrencies have been added to the Aplus Points program. If you’re an Aplus credit cardholder, you can now turn your reward points into cryptocurrencies, including XRP (XRP), Bitcoin (BTC), and Ether (ETH). This makes Aplus the first major Japanese loyalty program to offer direct conversion of points to cryptocurrencies. 🚀

Safello Teams Up with Marginalen Bank to Revolutionize Crypto Banking Services! 🚀

Now, brace yourselves for the buzzword: Banking-as-a-Service (BaaS). Yes, you heard it right, folks. A whole new world of services including full-service payment accounts, bill payments, Swish connections, and, wait for it… debit cards. But hold your horses, it gets even better: this deal has a two-year term and is aiming for full integration by late 2025, with the grand unveiling happening in Q4 2025. Can you feel the anticipation? No? Well, maybe you should check back in two years.