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Let us examine the signs, shall we? First, there is the double-bottom pattern at $0.3357, a formation so rare it might as well come with a collector’s certificate. 🏆 Its neckline rests at $0.4660, teasing traders with dreams of a bullish breakout. And then there’s the falling wedge, drawn meticulously by connecting the highs since June 26 and the lows since April. This pattern suggests that something big could happen soon-if only Pi Coin can muster the courage to break free from its slumber. 🚀

On the daily chart, Ethereum’s formed a slightly higher high at $4,884-like a comedian topping their last joke. But the RSI? It’s not laughing. 😒 No corresponding higher high, just a bearish divergence, the classic “uh-oh” moment in this crypto sitcom. The price is consolidating below the ATH, chilling in the upper bounds of an ascending channel like a diva waiting for her cue. Immediate support? $4,400-$4,450. After that, it’s the Fib retracement cluster at $4,070-$3,900, the safety net of this high-wire act. 🎪

In this grand little play of liquidity, our protagonists take the stage: the illustrious liquid staking protocol Lido, and the astute lending platform AAVE. Like an enchanted drama of fortune, Lido has leaped from a humble $30 billion to a staggering $42.5 billion in just a few brief weeks-crown firmly upon its digital head, it has cast AAVE to the supportive wings, yet not too far behind! AAVE, propelled by unseen forces, has gathered a princely sum of roughly $9 billion, boasting a TVL of $41.1 billion.

Bitcoin’s trying to hit $114k like it’s the last train to nowhere, but the late-week gains are more like a slow, sad shuffle. 🕳️💸

Roughly 690,000 ETH-which is a number so big it needs its own zip code-has been funneled into 33 different liquid staking protocols. Because why have one option when you can have 33 flavors of slightly confusing financial soup? All this according to defillama.com, which is a website name I did not make up, I swear.

Indeed, the adventures of these spot Ethereum ETFs have not gone unnoticed, much like a magician’s trick that leaves the audience in awe. The price of ETH, as if enchanted by a powerful spell, soared to an all-time high of $4,887 on the fateful Friday, August 22. Yet, the real magic lies in the fact that these ETFs are now outshining their Bitcoin counterparts, much to everyone’s surprise and delight.

Yet, in this grand spectacle, where demands soared as eagles in their ascent, the gas fees remained as placid as the Don’s autumnal plains, lingering near the $80 million mark each day-a veritable slapstick in contrast with past peaks that vaulted well above $300 million. 🏃‍♂️💸

Apparently, when the short-term moving average tiptoes above the long-term, it’s a cause for celebration among traders, astrologers, and very optimistic dogs. This energetic leap was fueled by Friday’s wild speculation that the Federal Reserve might be about to wave its rate-cutting wand, triggered by Jerome Powell at the annual Jackson Hole symposium-which, contrary to the name, is not a hole full of jackets but a place where people in suits say things that move markets.

Oh, the drama! Gemini squeals about a shiny credit facility with Ripple. It’s like having a magic purse that can pull out a minimum of $5 million and a whopping $75 million if needed-think of it as a piggy bank that could swallow a small house! And if the bigwigs nod yes, they might even turn this into a Ripple-stablecoin smoothie-deliciously USD-denominated-ready to go! The entire piggy bank? A hefty $150 million. Yum. 💸🧙‍♂️

But hold on tight, because Anthony Scaramucci from SkyBridge Capital isn’t about to let Eric hog the limelight. In between sips of whatever fancy drink he was holding during media interviews, Scaramucci doubled down on his own prediction: $180,000 to $200,000 by December. He calls it “conservative,” which is hilarious when you consider most people still find crypto confusing enough to make their heads spin like a roulette wheel. Institutional demand, marquee ETFs, blah blah blah-it’s enough to make you wonder if these guys are financial geniuses or just really good at talking fast. 🎤📈