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But wait, there’s more! The report also points out that most of these tokenized assets are chilling on Ethereum and a few other dominant protocols. So, what does that mean? A single hack could send the entire $13.9 billion+ RWA sector into a tailspin. Yikes! 😱

Indeed, dear reader, Bitcoin’s ascent has been nothing short of meteoric. Analysts wax poetic about its status as the greatest macro trade of the last ten years, yet they whisper amongst themselves that this story is far from its denouement. In a recent discourse shared upon the social platform X, Mr. Thiel bestowed his thoughts on the matter, likening Bitcoin to a force so disruptive that society simply cannot process its implications. “A big invention,” he proclaimed, “whether for good or ill.” Oh, how droll! Here stands a man who views Bitcoin not merely as a digital asset but as a veritable revolution-a phenomenon reshaping the very notions of freedom, trust, and value in this digital age. One might imagine society clutching its pearls in collective bewilderment. 🌍✨

While its 3-month chart still boasts a respectable 16.4% increase, recent price action suggests that HBAR is now relying on short-term spikes like a caffeine addict depends on their morning espresso. Despite the broader lethargy, one bullish pattern has emerged from the chaos. Yes, the 4-hour RSI is whispering sweet nothings of optimism. But will it last? Or is it just another fleeting romance? 💔

Table of Contents, because why not? Let’s pretend I’m organized.

Lazy days of wallet chaos are over! MetaMask, the self-proclaimed guardian of the crypto crossroads, introduces mUSD-a dollar-pegged token birthed in trembling partnership with Bridge, Stripe’s less glamorous sibling, and M0, the infrastructure wizard. A noble quest to tame the wild Ethereum jungle, launching on Ethereum and Linea, with visions of a wallet so elegant it can finally pretend it’s a bank. Or at least, a semi-respectable cousin of one. 😉

Traders and investors, those fickle souls who chase the winds of fortune, have shown little to no interest in PI. Its tepid performance, akin to a cold, unlit hearth, has done little to warm the hearts of its holders. 😢

Meanwhile, a so-called “top analyst” whispers ominously of a prophecy-a signal so divine that ETH might shatter through barriers toward a lofty $5,600. As if the crypto gods themselves are whispering secrets behind the curtains of human folly.

In a move that’s more “Screw you, traditional finance!” than “Hey, let’s be nice,” Grvt is making sure that everyone-yes, even the guy who just learned what a crypto wallet is-gets the same advantages that used to be exclusive to those who own multiple yachts. In case you missed it, on August 21, Grvt announced it’s introducing a −1 basis point (−0.01%) maker fee rebate for all users. That means you’ll be literally getting paid to place orders. It’s like buying a product and having the store give you change. The only catch? You have to know how to trade. But hey, we’re all learning, right?

Rogoff, that paragon of economic wisdom, took to X (formerly Twitter) to confess his blunder. “I was wrong,” he said, as if the earth had suddenly stopped spinning. His error? Believing that governments would ever regulate Bitcoin sensibly. 🧠 A noble goal, but alas, the U.S. seems more inclined to dance with the devil than to rein him in. 🕺

July’s $XPL presale was so chaotic, people deposited $1B just to *qualify*. Retail investors? Yeah, we were busy Googling “how to stop a whale from eating my savings.” 🐋💸