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Emails zoom around the globe faster than a New York minute, but money? Oh no, it’s like a tortoise on a Sunday stroll. Payments can take days, especially if you’re trying to send cash across borders. And don’t even get me started on weekends or holidays. It’s like money is on vacation while we’re all just sitting here, waiting. Trillions of dollars are just sitting there, twiddling their thumbs, not earning a dime. What a waste!

Plot twist: despite the skies darkening, people are still rage-shopping SHIB like it’s Black Friday on roller skates-volume’s up 17 %. That’s right, degens are HODLing harder than my mother holds grudges. If volume were cake, this would be the four-tiered prank you bring to an HR meeting: confusing and probably not FDA-approved. Coin’s at $0.00001214 as I write, down just enough to make you regret yesterday’s latte and last week’s euphoria.

If history serves us right, this cosmic alignment of averages usually drags prices lower until they hit the next big anchor point. And guess what? Right now, that anchor is chilling at $100,483 on the 200-day line. How convenient for doom prophets everywhere! 😅

Analysts, those tireless interpreters of tea leaves, remain suffused with hope, their predictions as inflated as the prices of Moscow turnips during wartime. Scaramucci, venerable founder of SkyBridge Capital and modern-day apostle of crypto, continues to whisper his vision of Bitcoin at $200,000, perhaps imagining himself a prophet on the shores of the Volga. During a recent CBNC interview-shared by Altcoin Daily for all the world to scroll past-he reasserted this bullish gospel, invoked tight supply, growing institutional adoption, and a spreading desire for Bitcoin as the ultimate hedge (between a mattress and, for some, dignity). 🐂🙌

Now, let us delve into the merciless arithmetic of this wipeout: a staggering $4.21 million worth of longs found themselves on the receiving end of a margin call, while the shorts, bless their little hearts, barely registered a blip at $4,150. This, my friends, is what crafted the unprecedented skew-not the largest wipe in dollars, but rather a theatrical display of how crowded the long trade around XRP had become. A veritable circus of misplaced optimism! 🎪

Over the next decade, trillions of pounds will pass from the hands of baby boomers to their younger heirs. In the United States alone, a staggering £10.6 trillion is expected to change hands by 2030, with Europe and Asia contributing trillions more. What a delightful prospect for the digital asset enthusiasts among us! 🎩

SUI is showing a familiar setup on the charts. The token is trading near $3.47 and holding above a rising support line that has been in place since April. On the 2-day chart, the price action has formed an ascending triangle. This type of setup often appears before a move higher. Or a move to the moon… if you believe in fairy tales.

Well, butter my biscuit! By 2035, the real-world asset (RWA) market is fixin’ to hit a cool $60 trillion, and them green RWAs are sittin’ pretty like a frog in a pond, ready to be the belle of the ball in this global onchain hoedown. 🤠

On August the twentieth, Celsius solemnly announced its third procession of repayment, as if the very date itself possessed sacred significance. One could almost hear the rustle of unpaid bills sighing with relief.