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Once upon a recent time, the wallets with more than 100,000 ETH-those behemoths that could fill a small village-were more numerous than a flock of sparrows in summer. Now, they’re fewer, perhaps fewer than the number of times your Aunt Doris says she’s “looking into Bitcoin.” The count has fallen from over 200 in 2020 to a measly 70 in 2025. No tears, no drama, just a deep breath and a shrug. 😅

With a swift nod of approval, the president cast his lot with stablecoin-focused blockchains and their birthing cries into the limelight. One month hence, and we find ourselves amid a torrent of change, dear reader. Is it not peculiar how these digital currencies, as lithe and evasive as the most elusive butterflies, now parade their worth not just in private, clandestine corners, but under the scrutiny of public forums?

Our astute analyst, with the flair of a seasoned storyteller, proclaims that the very fabric of market structure and the dance of trading patterns suggest that XRP’s long, drawn-out slumber may soon awaken to a vigorous leap, just as ETH takes a moment to catch its breath. Ah, the irony of timing! ⏳

One Crazzyblockk-a name that conjures images of a deranged Tetris enthusiast-opined in a CryptoQuant manifesto that this ratio is the market’s EKG, its pulse growing ever fainter. The ratio, much like a jilted lover’s midnight ramblings, measures stablecoin infatuations against Bitcoin’s cold shouldering. A rise? Passionate liquidity. A drop? The bitter aftertaste of rejection. 💔

The U.S. SEC, ever the master of suspense, has extended its performance of “Will They, Won’t They Approve XRP ETFs?” Originally slated for August’s stage, the drama now crescendos in October. Grayscale, 21Shares, and their merry band of crypto-enthusiasts await their cue. The final curtain falls on:

According to the Messari report, the once-mighty Solana saw its total application revenue shrink like a deflating balloon, from $1.0 billion to $576.4 million. Pump.fun, the darling of the quarter, still managed to account for over 25% of this sum with $156.9 million, though it too suffered a 40% decline. Jupiter, Phantom, and Photon followed suit, their revenues dropping by 15.6%, 65.4%, and 72.4% respectively. A comedy of errors, indeed. 🤡

“While the Trump Administration is letting crypto bros write federal policy,” Pritzker quips, “Illinois is implementing common-sense protections for investors and consumers.” Because nothing says “I care” like a good ol’ legislative smackdown, right?

As the traders of Bitcoin (BTC) cast their hopeful gazes toward the horizon of September, they anticipate the Fed’s first potential rate cut of the year, which they believe could usher in a veritable renaissance for Bitcoin. The right nominee, a veritable golden goose, could propel the price to dizzying heights. Oh, the irony! A mere mortal’s choice could dictate the fate of a digital currency!

The privacy coin XMR appreciated by approximately 4% on Aug. 18 to $276, just days after the reported 51% attack on Monero by the Qubic mining pool. Since the saga started, XMR had been trending downward, and on Aug. 15, it declined to $233 as multiple media outlets and experts reported the commencement of the attack. 🧠

Ah, the eternal tale of two cryptos: Bitcoin, basking in the glow of institutional admiration, now commands a princely sum of $165.57 billion in assets under management (AUM). BlackRock’s IBIT struts ahead with $85.25 billion-because who wouldn’t want to be seen with the darling of the digital elite? Fidelity’s FBTC follows with $36.84 billion, and Grayscale’s GBTC trails with $21.44 billion, like the slightly less popular cousin at a family reunion. Meanwhile, Ethereum spot ETFs languish at a mere $25.56 billion, proving that even in the crypto world, being second fiddle is still… well, being second fiddle. The ratio? A jaw-dropping 6:1 in favor of Bitcoin. Truly, Bitcoin has become the toast of the institutional town, while Ethereum scrambles to find its seat at the banquet. One might say Bitcoin is sipping champagne, while Ethereum is stuck with the house white. Cheers to that, or should I say, *bit-te* to that? 🍷✨