qfx The Lazarus Group, that mastermind of chaos, has been linked to crypto heists worth billions! 🚀 From the $1.4 billion Bybit hack to the $30 million Upbit exploit, they’re the Robin Hood of the digital age – but with a much worse sense of humor. 🤖
On a crisp November morn, the SFO, with all the drama of a Victorian melodrama, announced its probe into Basis Markets. Two gentlemen, alas, found themselves in handcuffs, accused of laundering and fraud-a modern-day morality tale, if ever there was one. The raids, conducted with the precision of a society tea party, extended to the genteel abodes of London and the rustic charm of Yorkshire. 🏡🔍
Yet beware, dear reader! These patterns are but fragile mosaics, easily shattered by the fickle gods of liquidity, sentiment, and social media frenzy. The market, that fickle mistress, responds more to tweets and whales than to the ancient secrets buried in technical charts. 🐋💸
On the 1-hour chart, the token experiences a swift downward thrust-nothing too shocking, really. It’s the kind of aggressive selloff that sets the mood for a thrilling ride. After that, the price meanders upwards, but in such a way that only the most patient of traders could find joy in. Higher lows appear, giving the faint impression that the buyers are taking a few tentative steps back into the market.
On Nov 29, analyst Axel Adler Jr. casually dropped a truth bomb on X: Bitcoin might be entering a “prolonged correction” zone. Because nothing says “confidence” like a 200-300 day wait for the next bull run. Who needs excitement when you can have anticipation? 🤷♂️
Crypto analyst Ali recently pointed to exhaustion signals forming on Ethereum’s 1-hour perpetual futures chart on Binance. “The TD Sequential indicator is flashing a sell signal after Ethereum’s recent rally,” Ali noted, referring to the trend-exhaustion model developed by Tom DeMark, which is widely used to identify potential short-term reversals. 🤯 Clearly, the market is now as reliable as a toaster in a hurricane.
This is a huge U-turn from Chairman Michael Saylor’s “HODL till I’m dead” mantra. Looks like even the biggest Bitcoin bulls have a secret panic button. 🚨
The price of DOGE, that most fashionable of cryptocurrencies, has managed to rise by a mere 0.85% in the past 24 hours. One must commend the coin for its modesty, though I daresay even a loaf of bread could outpace this pace. 🥖📈
Our beloved SHIB has managed to nudge upwards by… wait for it… a tiny 1.58% in the last 24 hours. It’s essentially doing a slow dance on the crypto floor-nothing wild, just some gentle sway. 💃
For my latest diary entry – and don’t worry, no secrets here, just a tale of two companies – it’s about Binance’s bold claim that illicit exchanges are almost as boring as watching paint dry. Chainalysis, having lent Binance their data, says hold on a minute, let’s include the full spectrum.
