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Amidst this festive atmosphere, BCH on-chain metrics whisper a cautionary tale: the whales, those majestic creatures of the crypto sea, seem to be on vacation. According to IntoTheBlock, BCH large transactions (over $100K), which peaked above $900 million in July, have now plunged below $200 million for the first time in 20 days on Sunday, Aug. 3. 🐳🌊

The chart of UNI/USDT looks like a rebellious teenager trying to rebound after a particularly dramatic summer fling near $11.686. After swooning down to the support line at $9.13, the price rallied with a bullishness that almost insulted the previous hopelessness-performance art on a chart, if you will.

It’s a tale as old as time-or at least as old as the internet: crypto companies find a way to do what they want, regardless of what the law says. In this case, we’re talking about the Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act, which, much to everyone’s surprise, actually tried to put a stop to stablecoin issuers giving out interest or yield. But alas, where there’s a will, there’s a loophole.

And what event, you might ask, could possibly be more significant than the whims of the market? Why, the decision of Artelo Biosciences, a clinical-stage pharmaceutical firm, to adopt Solana as part of its corporate treasury. Yes, you read that correctly. In a move that would have made the great Dostoevsky himself scratch his head in wonder, Artelo became the first publicly traded pharmaceutical company to embrace the digital realm of SOL. With a commitment of $9.475 million from an at-the-market private placement, Artelo has set sail into uncharted waters, guided by the beacon of Solana’s promise.

Bitcoin, that unruly satyr of the financial woods, faced the whip of renewed pressure on Friday, marking its third weekly stumble. Prices flirted with $112,000, a support level as fragile as a glass slipper. The result? A billion-dollar liquidation carnival, as risk-off sentiment spread like a plague, infecting both crypto and equities. A weak U.S. jobs report and new tariffs added fuel to the pyre of growth concerns. 🔥💼

Blocks won? Slightly less, a 2% slide to 207. And their daily Bitcoin harvest? Down to 22.7 from June’s 23.8—because why not add a dash of misery to the mix? 😂.

Now, ol’ Trump Media has got plans—big plans—to launch a shiny new Truth-branded utility token—part of their grand reward scheme—probably to keep folks buyin’ and sellin’ like hotcakes. They say it’s got somethin’ to do with a digital wallet called Truth, where folks can subscribe to Truth+—like a club for the digitally inclined. They’re shy about sayin’ “cryptocurrency,” but reckon they’re usin’ blockchain tech, just to keep things fancy and confusing as a swamp at midnight.

The so-called “Truth Token,” a utility token that promises to unlock an ecosystem of digital wizardry, will debut alongside a digital wallet as part of the “Patriot Package”—a rewards program that sounds suspiciously like a magician’s trick. One imagines a bearded man in a top hat pulling rabbits (or perhaps crypto) from a hat while shouting, “Behold! The future of finance!” 🎩✨

According to the ever-reliable oracle known as Coinglass, the futures trend for our beloved DOGE has spiked to notable highs. It seems that the canine currency is barking back to life, much to the delight of its loyal followers. 🐕

Picture the dramatic scene, if you will: in December 2020, cunning cybercriminals pirouetted through Lubian’s digital defenses, waltzing off with 127,426 bitcoin (BTC). At the time, these digital trinkets were valued at $3.5 billion – pocket change, one assumes, for master criminals with excellent taste. But wait! Time, that indifferent broker, swelled the haul to a majestic $14.5 billion. It’s the greatest stage robbery since a dowager last misplaced the Crown Jewels in Mayfair. 🏴‍☠️