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Ark Invest added $39.6 million to its holdings of three crypto company shares on Wednesday as the broader crypto market dropped. Because nothing says “confidence” like throwing money at a burning building. 🔥
The Basel Committee’s Chair, Pablo Hernández de Cos, recently warned that the global banking rules governing cryptocurrencies are hopelessly outdated. According to a report from the Financial Times, de Cos said that the framework adopted in 2022 is “so last year” in the fast-moving world of crypto. You see, digital assets evolve quicker than you can say “blockchain.”
Behold, the sage Peter Brandt, a man whose charts are as ominous as a storm cloud on the horizon, warns of a broadening top pattern-a harbinger of doom, if ever there was one. “The reversal began on November 11,” he proclaims, his voice dripping with the gravitas of a prophet. Lower highs, fading momentum-the signs are clear, though the masses remain blind to their fate. 🧙♂️
At press time, XRP languishes at $2.13, down 1.1% in the past 24 hours, a mere shadow of its former self, having shed 14% in the last week and 12% over the past month. Its July 18 all-time high of $3.65 remains a distant memory, a summer fling now faded into autumnal regret. 🍂💔
This breakout marks a turning point for the Layer-2 protocol, driven by increased staking demand and renewed interest in Zcash’s privacy innovations. However, pending token unlocks may test whether accumulation momentum withstands potential sell pressure. 🕵️♂️
Right. So, Bitwise, those lovely people who apparently manage cryptocurrency index funds (a concept that still feels fundamentally improbable), have declared that XRP – yes, that XRP – will be allowed to wobble around on the New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) tomorrow. Thursday, to be precise. Which, if you think about it, is quite a thing. Like letting a particularly enthusiastic ferret manage a small country.
Hey, guess who stumbled into the Ethereum party with a legal notebook and a Delaware LLC? That’s right, BlackRock. Think of it as a staked Ethereum ETF but with way more capital than your college fund. 💸
With the solemnity of a priest registering a baptism, BlackRock’s managing director, Daniel Schweiger-whose LinkedIn bio surely reads “Professional Delaware Filings Enthusiast”-officiated the paperwork. The trust, naturally, was registered under the Securities Act of 1933, a law older than most of the crypto bros who’ll trade this thing. 📅
Apparently, Trustwave’s SpiderLabs people (who sound like a Marvel supervillain team, honestly) discovered this thing called “Eternidade Stealer.” Very dramatic name. It’s spreading through the usual methods: fake government programs, delivery notifications for things you absolutely did NOT order, and those investment groups your friend keeps trying to get you to join. You know the ones. “Get rich quick!” 🙄
