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Brandt, who’s got 803,900 followers on X (formerly Twitter), claims most cryptos will eventually go to zero. But don’t worry—his pet rock is XLM. 🧱✨ “Every crypto nerd has his/her/its own pet rock or Beanie Baby,” he says. “I believe 95%+ of the 11,000 actively traded coins will become near worthless—your pet rock included.” 🧬

Ethereum made history in July 2025, raking in a record $4.57 billion in net inflows from ETH ETFs. You’d think this was the next iPhone launch, but nope, just Ethereum doing Ethereum things. 📈

According to a July 28 analysis by CryptoQuant contributor Yonsei_dent, the 2025 cycle appears to be channeling its inner 2021 with a “double-top camel” structure. Picture this: two peaks, six months apart, followed by a bear market so painful it could make even the most stoic investor weep into their spreadsheet.

Ah, the jet-set crowd of crypto finally decided to stir from their slumber, didn’t they? July’s shaping up to be the season of the dormant bitcoin renaissance. Fresh off our deeply thrilling exposé on 101,000 snoozing coins (2011–2017 vintage, naturally), another 471.8678 BTC sauntered into the limelight. Because nothing says “drama” like watching digital dust bunnies go viral. 🎥

Perplexity AI, unlike your average, mundane search engine that merely lists links, synthesizes web data and provides direct, well-sourced answers. For investors navigating the tumultuous seas of the crypto market, this is nothing short of a godsend. It’s like having a crystal ball, but without the dubious mystical undertones.

Per their pompous press release, this splurge is a testament to unwavering faith in blockchain wizardry and digital dosh as a bulwark against economic tempests. How noble! Their holdings have skyrocketed by 1,410% this year, crowning them Europe’s crypto kings—or at least pretenders. One can’t help but chuckle at the irony: betting on stability in a market that’s anything but. 📈🤪

The grand tapestry of this rally is woven with threads much finer than one might presume. A staggering 93% plunge in whale-to-exchange transfers since the dramatic sell climax of July 11—a moment when 43,575 XRP fled into the market—has bestowed upon us the not-so-surprising revelation that, as of July 28, this figure has deflated to a mere 2,965 XRP. It appears that the heavyweights of the crypto world have opted to lounge in their opulent yachts instead of cashing out. Who could blame them? 😂

Ah, dear reader, let us revel in the absurdity of Pudgy Penguins (PENGU), a token that has decided to break free from its “descending triangle” as though it were shedding the shackles of bourgeois conformity. At the time of this writing—or perhaps by the time you read it—the price stands at a modest $0.042, having risen nearly 2% in 24 hours and over 25% in the past week. One might say it’s climbing the social ladder faster than a well-dressed dandy at a soirée.

Bitcoin swaggered into a high-liquidity zone between $118K and $119K, filled with leveraged long positions—basically, traders throwing big bets around like they’re at a Vegas buffet. FOMO got the best of them after last week’s sprint from $115K to *almost* $120K. But when Bitcoin hit that “nope, not today” wall, it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck.

This ain’t just any old scheme; it’s the first time a big Japanese credit card racket lets you ditch points for crypto directly. Kicked off on July 8, 2025, it’s SBI Holdings flexing their muscles, shoving XRP into the heart of daily life. They’ve been sweet on XRP for years, using it for quick, cheap payments and making it the star of their exchange back in 2018. Now, it’s blending the grind of finance with the wild west of blockchain. Maybe it’ll spark a chain reaction across Asia, or maybe it’s just hot air. Who knows? 😂