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Ah, but the debate! The gnashing of teeth! Earlier this week, some venture capitalist-no doubt sipping champagne in a penthouse-declared Ripple worthless beyond its XRP hoard. “No one uses their tech!” he scoffed, as if the ledger’s microscopic fees were proof of its irrelevance. But the masses-those ragged, devoted few-rose in protest. “Lazy!” they cried. “Fools!” For what is value but the delusion of those who believe in it? 🤡

Once more, Senator Lummis graces the headlines, her voice a clarion call in the Bloomberg interview, declaring Bitcoin the panacea for America’s fiscal woes. According to the ever-vigilant CryptosRus, she extols BTC as an asset destined for eternal growth, the key to unlocking the chains of national debt. A strategic BTC reserve, she insists, is not just a strategy-it is the strategy, the only path forward in a sea of red ink. Yet, her zeal marks her as Washington’s crypto-crusader, a figure both admired and ridiculed in equal measure.

Ethena (ENA) is chilling in the prime support spot of $0.20-0.23-like a bartender watching the crowd, knowing someone’s about to order that knockout shot. Recent analysis by Ali on X is whispering sweet nothings about a potential breakout-like a teenager eyeing the prom queen, but in crypto terms.

Amongst the drones of the assemblage, who had gathered like flocks of hopeful sparrows in the winter to hear their man’s promises, the President proclaimed with the solemnity of lowering his death sentence, that the oppressive fog of bureaucratic disdain towards cryptocurrency had lifted. He brandished his pen, having signed an executive order that he insisted was as historic as the Pilgrims’ arrival, effectively ending the federal government’s “war on crypto.” Digital innovation, it seems, is the new Manifest Destiny.

According to a new report by CryptoOnchain, the recent market turbulence coincides with a veritable deluge of “hot money” flowing into Binance. Data from CryptoQuant reveals a notable spike in monthly Bitcoin inflows to the exchange during October 2025, signaling heightened speculative activity. What’s particularly intriguing is that this inflow is dominated almost entirely by “young” coins – UTXOs aged between 0 and 1 day – suggesting short-term traders and algorithmic participants are the ringleaders of this digital circus.

The Franklin OnChain U.S. Government Money Fund, registered in Luxembourg (of course), bets on short-term U.S. government securities like a Victorian gent staking his marbles on a faithful horse. But what sets it apart? Investors no longer scrawl their names on brittle parchment-they now own gBENJI tokens, little digital baubles stored on a blockchain. “It’s like a trust deed,” Tariq Ahmad, the man with a name like a fine wine, said, “but slightly less prone to potato salad.”

According to a carefully worded release (shared with TopMob – clearly the financial news outlet of the future), this partnership is a big deal. We’re talking about technical infrastructure, regulatory know-how, and a distribution network so vast, it could probably sell sand in the desert. All of this to bridge the gap between your dusty old financial markets and the bright, shiny world of blockchain. 🌍

And it’s not just about the buying frenzy. Ethereum, the seemingly unshakable giant, has also just reached a new milestone in network throughput. This, my dear reader, only serves to reinforce the idea that, despite a slight stumble in price, Ethereum is far from being on the brink of collapse. In fact, it may just be warming up for something better. But I digress.

On the recent episode of “Market Looks a Bit Like a Slide,” the illustrious @DonaldsTrades (who clearly enjoys drawing lines on charts more than most enjoy coffee) pointed out that LINK has been relentlessly oscillating between two downward-sloping trendlines. You know, the sort of lines that make you think “Is this a chart or a very complicated doodle?” Now, our adventurous token has decided to press its nose against the lower boundary of this impossible geometry, perhaps pondering whether it’s about to step into a reversal or simply enter a new interpretive dance.

In an unprecedented strategic partnership that sounds too good to be true, SBI Digital Markets (SBIDM) has announced its new collaboration with Chainlink. The big idea? A seamless, cross-chain digital asset hub that’s as compliant as your grandma’s Sunday best. The move promises to create an infrastructure that can safely handle tokenized assets for institutional clients. Hold your applause for later! 🎉