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On the recent episode of “Market Looks a Bit Like a Slide,” the illustrious @DonaldsTrades (who clearly enjoys drawing lines on charts more than most enjoy coffee) pointed out that LINK has been relentlessly oscillating between two downward-sloping trendlines. You know, the sort of lines that make you think “Is this a chart or a very complicated doodle?” Now, our adventurous token has decided to press its nose against the lower boundary of this impossible geometry, perhaps pondering whether it’s about to step into a reversal or simply enter a new interpretive dance.

In an unprecedented strategic partnership that sounds too good to be true, SBI Digital Markets (SBIDM) has announced its new collaboration with Chainlink. The big idea? A seamless, cross-chain digital asset hub that’s as compliant as your grandma’s Sunday best. The move promises to create an infrastructure that can safely handle tokenized assets for institutional clients. Hold your applause for later! 🎉

The Tokyo-listed company reportedly executed the loan at the end of October under an existing credit facility, signaling its continued commitment to Bitcoin as a core asset. Like, “core asset”-because nothing says “core” like a digital currency that’s basically a gamble with a fancy name. 🎰

FTX Token [FTT], Terra Luna Classic [LUNC], and Internet Computer [ICP] lead the procession to the guillotine, down 95%-99%. 👻

Welcome to Crypto for Advisors, where financial wizardry meets the world of digital assets. This week, we’re diving into the wonderland of DeFi, all while sipping tea and pretending we understand what’s going on. Don’t miss a beat-subscribe here to get it delivered straight to your inbox every Thursday.

Ah, the thrill of the chase. For every buyer, there’s a seller-except in 2025, those sellers seem to be unusually active (maybe it’s the hot crypto summer, who knows?).

Now, traders are clutching their calculators, wondering if ETF optimism and staking demand can catapult the price back to $300. 🤑 Or will it all end in tears and a trip to the crypto bargain bin? 😢

TRUMP, that Solana-spawned chimera, prances from its falling wedge, eyeing a 70% ascent to $13 by 2026-a leap as audacious as a butterfly with delusions of eaglehood. 🦋→🦅

Apparently, the European Commission – or EC, if you’re into abbreviations that sound like a sci-fi villain – has kicked off a full-blown investigation into whether these titans of trading conspired in a secret handshake to keep prices suspiciously in sync, carve up demand like a leftover turkey, or exchanged some “sensitive” data that, well, got the regulators twitching. Think of it as a giant game of Monopoly, but with less fun and more fines. The markets responded with the subtlety of a herd of elephants, with Deutsche Boerse’s shares nose-diving more than 7%-probably wishing they’d kept their shady dealings under wraps-while Nasdaq flopped down 1.7%, pre-market style.