qfx So here we are. The U.S. Department of Justice is dragging Tornado Cash co-founder Roman Storm back into court for two unresolved charges. Remember that 2025 trial? Yeah, the one with the hung jury. Apparently, Manhattan prosecutors are like that friend who insists on replaying the same board game until they win. Early October, they say. Mark your calendars. Or don’t.
At the time of writing, Bitcoin [BTC] was merrily bobbing along at $68,522.50, having gained a respectable 1.85% in the last 24 hours. On the weekly charts, it’s up 4%, which is not too shabby for a digital currency that’s supposedly on its deathbed. And let’s not forget, Bitcoin dominance has climbed to 59.09%, inching ever closer to that magical 60% mark. So, is it dying? Or is it just having a midlife crisis? Hard to say.
Ah, but the path of Dogecoin is fraught with the absurdities of human greed and fear. From the $0.0860 zone, it rose like a phoenix from the ashes, breaking through the $0.0880 and $0.090 resistance levels with the tenacity of a dog after a bone. It even surpassed the 23.6% Fib retracement level of its downward spiral from the $0.1043 swing high to the $0.0859 low. Yet, the bears, ever vigilant, lurked near the $0.0925 zone, ready to pounce on any sign of weakness. And so, the rising channel forms, a precarious scaffold upon which the hopes of many rest.
The influx of capital, a tempest of greed and hope, stirred the dormant spirit of ZEC. Like a weary soul finding solace in the embrace of a long-lost friend, the coin surged 10.9%, a fleeting victory in the ever-shifting sands of market whims.
Yet, do not despair entirely. Like a forlorn goose wandering into spring, there remains a whisper of hope that Pippin may regain some composure.
Currently, Bitcoin is dancing around the mid-$60,000 range, and on-chain indicators are suggesting that short-term holders are still pushing the market structure down with their collective selling pressure. For those not intimately familiar with these terms, think of them as the folks who bought Bitcoin at its very peak and are now, well, not exactly winning at life.
Below the illustrious $1.4 mark, our dear XRP flounders like a goose in a snowstorm, yet amidst this gloomy descent, an extraordinary accumulation of liquidity amasses-an invisible horde of coins waiting for a spectacle. One might almost hear them whisper, “Buy us, oh trembling mortals, buy us before we vanish!”
Not to be outdone in cosmic prognostication, Brian Armstrong, CEO, co-founder, and chairman of Coinbase, chimed in with the same dreadful prophecy. According to him, the reason is deliciously simple: AI agents cannot open bank accounts, but crypto wallets? Oh, they own them like proud cats lounging atop a stack of yarn balls.
According to sources breathlessly reporting, Anthropic filed two lawsuits on March 9, daring to suggest that the Pentagon’s designation of the company as a “supply chain risk to national security” is less about espionage and more about bruised egos. The suits target a policy typically reserved for foreign adversaries, now repurposed to scold a domestic tech firm like a schoolboy caught doodling in the margins of the Constitution.
Instead of paying their clerks in royal ringles, Capital B politely raised
capital through an At-the-Market flash deal with TOBAM, issuing 200,000 fresh
shares at a teeny €0.60 each. The proceeds? Wrapped in digital steel and
stored in a vault that’s really just a fancy hashtag on the blockchain.
