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As the sages of the market gaze into their crystal balls, they whisper of a potential breakout, a Promethean leap that could shatter the shackles of resistance and send XRP soaring towards the dizzying heights of $3.18 and, dare we dream, $3.40 🚀. The 100% Fibonacci extension level, that mystical indicator of bullish portents, beckons like a siren’s song, promising riches to those brave enough to heed its call.

However, the crypto industry is still divided on whether retail investors have truly returned. Some say it’s a sign of the times, while others remain skeptical. 🤔

In a display akin to a poetic pas de deux, Bitcoin [BTC] performed a delightful, if modest, leap of 1.32%, hastily reminding us all that a confirmed local top is still playing hard to get. 🥳

According to the official announcement, Base has evolved “to be more than a chain” with the Base app designed as “an everything app to create, earn, trade, discover apps, and chat with friends all in one place.” It’s like a digital Swiss Army knife, but for the blockchain age. 🛠️

Now, allow us to ruminate, nay, to ponder the fate of Toncoin (TON). Will it wrestle free of the choking grip of its overhead resistance—like a pigeon escaping the clutches of a hungry cat? Or, as is often the case, shall we be left to wallow in despair, luminous charts be damned! Let us consult the mystical symbols upon which our financial fates hang.

Hedera [HBAR] finds itself once again on the brink of the perilous $0.26 cliff, a place that heralded a 50% nosedive earlier in the year—what a delightful memory, isn’t it?

The Trump family and other founders will maintain a way to profit from this arrangement, as their tokens won’t be unlocked in the first round. This could enable a future sale after retail investors, in their infinite wisdom, drive WLFI’s price up. 🤷‍♂️

In a recent post on X, our gallant Avenger opined that XRP is quietly becoming the backbone of international finance—much like how I rely on coffee to not melt into a puddle of existential dread every Monday morning. 😂 He even suggested that SWIFT is losing transactions like a clumsy waiter dropping plates at a fancy restaurant. Turns out, SWIFT’s transaction volume is down a shocking 15% while the XRP Ledger (XRPL) is partying like it’s 1999. 🎉

But do not think this is the only jewel of brilliance to emerge from the political swamp! Alongside GENIUS, the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act—aptly named Clarity—has also advanced, like a sheep among wolves, seeking to define the sacred roles of the SEC and CFTC in regulating crypto. Surely, this will end all confusion, because who could ever be confused about the duties of two competing regulatory bodies in the volatile world of digital assets? No one, right? And, lo and behold, another bill looms large on the horizon, one that seeks to bar the Federal Reserve from launching a central bank digital currency. You know, just in case we haven’t learned enough about digital currency to fill our lifetimes.

As the old model of hardware sales crumbles like a brittle biscuit underfoot, GameStop has turned its gaze to the glimmering allure of trading cards and collectibles. Cohen, with all the gravitas of a seer peering into the murky crystal ball of consumer behavior, asserts that there exists a genuine demand for the transactional ability of digital currencies. Oh, the very audacity of it all! 🎭