qfx

Now, the price of this here Stellar (XLM) has climbed a good 3.56% over the last 24 hours. That’s what I call a fine day’s work, wouldn’t you say? 🌟

The ever-wise Carl Runefelt—who must have a crystal ball—has spoken. According to his technical analysis, Ethereum is at a decisive moment. Break through the $2,700 resistance level and the sky’s the limit (well, maybe not the sky, but you get the idea). But if it fails, ETH may be doomed to wander aimlessly in this range, maybe even dropping down to lower demand zones, and we all know how that feels—like your phone dying at 1% when you’re waiting for a text message.

The spark for this financial melodrama? Some news about an intergalactic nugget—the Psyche 16 asteroid—trundling our way, allegedly ladled with about $700 quintillion in gold. (Yes, “quintillion.” That’s a number that only ever gets used for distant asteroids, hypothetical viruses, or calculating just how many people actually read the Terms and Conditions. Spoiler: none.)

In this grand shift from the human-centric to the agent-driven finance, tasks of considerable complexity, such as trading and portfolio management, are now being executed with a speed and precision that would make even the most seasoned financier blush. The implications of this transition are profound, affecting not only the humble retail investor but also the grand institutions that have long dominated the financial landscape.

June 17, 2025—Five-Year Crypto Tax Exemption (Because Why Not?)

This grave and earth-shattering announcement appeared on X (formerly known as Twitter, currently known as a place your parents don’t understand), during a digital Q&A so casual it made most press conferences look like dinner with the Queen.

What was the cause of this sudden burst of energy, you ask? Well, my friend, it was the news of Ripple’s application for a national bank charter. It was like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart of the token, and it responded with a 2.36% gain, leaving all else in its dust.

This scheme, charmingly dubbed the Cryptoasset Reporting Framework, claims to be about “tax transparency,” though one suspects it’s mostly about seeing how many acronyms can be crammed onto a single page before the ink runs out.

Moreover, TON assures us that the visa process, typically a labyrinthine ordeal, can be completed in under seven weeks, with the entire affair managed by UAE-based partners. The offer is further embellished with an estimated 3 to 4 percent annual yield on staked TON and the inclusion of immediate family members. Oh, the generosity!

Indeed, Pump.fun strutted onto the stage, banging cymbals and launching tokens at the audience with the manic glee of a court jester. But—shh!—behind the curtains, the plot thickens.