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Day three of the government shutdown, and it seems the markets didn’t get the memo. While stocks are mostly doing well, the tech sector, however, seems to have forgotten its way-Palantir Technologies (Nasdaq: PLTR) dropped a cool 7% on Friday. Meanwhile, the broader crypto market has ballooned to nearly $4.2 trillion, a 1.48% jump from yesterday, and Bitcoin (BTC) is practically sniffing its all-time high from behind the curtain. Only $2,000 to go, give or take a hundred or so. 💰

Its booth, a beacon of defiance, drew more attention than a three-headed Zaphod Beeblebrox at a galactic fashion show. Oleg Ogienko, the token’s regulatory affairs director, even took the stage-briefly, before references to the company were stealthily erased from the event’s website on Thursday. Poof! Like a towel snatched by the Hitchhiker’s Guide itself. 🧘‍♂️✨

September wasn’t just any month-it was the grand finale of a fiscal year that would make even the most cynical spreadsheet nerd swoon. CleanSpark hit a massive 50 exahashes per second (EH/s)-which, if you don’t know, sounds like the name of a sci-fi weapon but is actually something very, very fast. They also gobbled up GRIID Infrastructure (because who doesn’t want to own things?), boosted their Bitcoin-backed credit line by $200 million, and started dabbling in derivatives to hedge volatility. In layman’s terms: they’re playing Wall Street with digital pennies and feeling pretty smug about it.

Solid inflows into spot Bitcoin ETFs suggest the jolly bulls have snatched the driving gloves, and a dash to a new all-time high is on the cards. 📈

The fintech firm Onepay, a majority-owned puppet of Walmart, has decided to spice up its digital offerings by introducing cryptocurrency trading and custody. This bold move, slated for later this year, is a desperate attempt to become the “everything app” for the financially starved masses. 🌍💸

Cap doesn’t do dull old peg-work. Oh no, it dances to a trickster’s tune where yield is outsourced to whitelisted operators-banks, lightning-fast trading wirms (yes, firms), and RWA wizards. The three nutty actors are minters, operators, and restakers. Minters hold cUSD pegged 1:1 with USDC/USDT, operators borrow secret liquidity to run dazzling strategies, and restakers stand tall like sentinels to keep the whole fairytale fully covered. 🪄🪙

For four decades, Chile has been a laboratory of pensions-a place where the alchemy of savings and speculation once turned Latin America’s retirement dreams into golden coins. In the 1980s, its overhaul-individual capitalization, mandatory contributions, AFPs (those privately managed puppeteers of capital)-made Santiago a financial titan. Sovereign bonds? Sought after like rare caviar. IPOs? As plentiful as mosquitoes in summer. Foreign investors? They salivated over Chile’s “modernity” like wolves at a feast.

September bore witness to a union most peculiar: Solana, Mastercard, and the National Bank of Kazakhstan sired Evo, a stablecoin cloaked in the velvet of state approval. Meanwhile, the Digital Tenge, launched in 2023, gallops forward like a stallion unbridled, its hooves thundering with the promise of monetary revolution. 🐎

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On a Wednesday that’s likely to be remembered in crypto circles, Madam Pornanong Budsaratragoon, the SEC’s sharp-witted secretary-general, let the cat out of the bag: they’re makin’ room for more than just BTC. 🚀