qfx In a recent stream, Chris Regan of Cheeky Crypto, armed with a keyboard and existential dread, declared war on blockchain’s “experimental” phase. “While many blockchain networks still wear the lab coat of experimentation,” he intoned, “XRP has donned the tuxedo of real-world finance, sipping champagne at the transaction gala.”
Expert Allan Staple, speaking recently with the gravitas of a man who owns a single, well-worn tweed jacket, declared Ripple’s acquisitions-from Hidden Road (now Ripple Prime, presumably with a fresh coat of digital paint) to obscure payment platforms-marked a “turning point.” Because nothing says reinvention like a rebrand and a few LinkedIn announcements.
In a Jan. 20 announcement that probably made their competitors weep into their coffee, Bitmine revealed their total holdings of crypto, cash, and “moonshot” investments clock in at a cool $14.5 billion. And guess what? The Ethereum pile alone is doing most of the heavy lifting, accounting for a whopping 3.48% of Ethereum’s circulating supply. That’s right-Bitmine is basically the Ethereum equivalent of a dragon sitting on a pile of gold, except the gold is digital and the dragon is a tech company.
Japanese government bond markets plunged into rare disorder as long-term yields spiked to levels unseen in decades. Asset manager Bitwise warned on Jan. 20 that the violent repricing in Japan’s debt market exposes deep structural vulnerabilities and signals that the U.S. fiscal path may be equally exposed as borrowing costs rise.
In the annals of financial folly, Strategy now claims 709,715 BTC, purchased for a mere $53.92 billion (average $75,979 per coin). A sum so vast it could buy Tolstoy’s entire bibliography… twice… and still have change for tea.
In this grand theater of blockchain, Tharwa’s thUSD, backed by the sacred trinity of sukuk, gold, and real estate (with a dash of sovereign debt for flavor), has found its stage. Real Finance, ever the gracious host, opens its arms to this RWA-backed prodigy, promising “sustainable onchain yield.” Sustainable, you say? In a world where greed and volatility waltz hand in hand, one can only marvel at such audacity.
Investors and crypto traders are now demanding a class action lawsuit against the creators of the Trove project, a venture that has proven as reliable as a gentleman’s promise to return a borrowed book.
According to the latest whispers from the market, Japanese government bond yields have surged with all the flair of a Coward revival. The 30-year bond yield, as mentioned, hit 3.90%, a historic crescendo. Meanwhile, the 40-year bond yield, not to be outdone, climbed 28 basis points to 4.22%, another record. Even the 10-year yield, that sprightly young thing, rose to 2.37%, a level last seen when flapper dresses were all the rage.
Recently, SEC Chairman Paul Atkins, a man with a penchant for clarity amid chaos, triumphantly announced that the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act of 2025 is ready to be presented to none other than the U.S. President. Yes, you heard right! The same President who probably still thinks ‘blockchain’ is a new type of fitness program.
According to our pals over at Arkham Intelligence (who are definitely not in the business of making intelligence sound fancy), this wallet first got its mitts on Bitcoin way back in 2013, when BTC was trading for less than $7! That’s a gain of around 13,900 times. Talk about a return on investment that would make your grandma faint!