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Tezos [XTZ] has been on a wild ride, gaining a whopping 8.2% in the last 24 hours. Coinalyze, our trusty oracle, tells us its Open Interest shot up by 51.2% in the same time. Intense speculative bidding, they call it. Sounds more like a casino to me! 🎰

At this moment, the cryptocurrency known as Bitcoin, or BTC for those who frequent its cavernous halls, finds itself besieged by miners casting aside their treasures like sailors abandoning ship as it takes on water. The cruel specter of increased selling pressure looms over this illustrious currency, threatening its glorious ascent—for now, at least.

With a good deal of hype and perhaps a sprinkle of fairy dust, a particularly explosive historical signal has sauntered back onto the XRP stage, igniting flames of optimism for a breakout to come. Martinez, in his dazzling analysis shared across social media—where everything is real and nothing is exaggerated—has unveiled a revelation: the cryptocurrency’s Market Value to Realized Value (MVRV) ratio has struck a Golden Cross. Yes, a Golden Cross! A pattern stirring up some seriously bullish momentum, akin to finding a forgotten $20 bill in last year’s winter coat. 💰

Miss Taylor Kenney, a lady of discerning taste in precious metals from the esteemed ITM Trading, has taken to the stage to decry the government’s incessant creation of money, a practice she likens to the nefarious art of counterfeiting. This, she argues, is no less than a systematic siphoning of wealth from the masses to the elite, the “top 1%”, a transfer as subtle as it is swift.

They whisper of Trump’s intentions to host a UFC event in 2026… a bizarre spectacle, really. Imagine the gilded cage! But alas, tonight, the former President remains absent. A snub, a strategic withdrawal? Perhaps he finds the raw brutality… *unbecoming*. Dana White and he share a history, yes, a transactional alliance, but even loyalty has its limits. The man demands spectacle, and this, it seems, is not enough. He’s a regular attendee, yes, but a man of his stature cannot be seen at every brawl. It diminishes the mystique, don’t you think? 🙄

The news of Block Inc.’s addition to the S&P 500 caused its market value to surge by 9% in after-hours trading on Friday. The market, it seems, has finally learned that Bitcoin is not a scam but a “digital gold” that even the S&P 500 can’t ignore. It jumped as high as $79, according to Google Finance data. This underscores the level of bullish reaction the event received from the market, especially the Bitcoin (BTC) community. Block Inc. gained this much embrace because it is one of the most renowned backers of Bitcoin. Or, as the Bitcoin community might say, “Finally, someone who understands our vision of a world where everyone is rich and no one has to work.”

Bullish, see, is one of them crypto exchanges. They sent a letter – a real official one, an F-1 form – to those fellas at the Securities and Exchange Commission. Said they want a piece of the American pie. But they’re bein’ tight-lipped about how big a piece. No numbers, no promises, just a whole lot of hope and a pinch of maybe.

This little stablecoin is EVERYWHERE. It’s the base pair for over 900 crypto assets – talk about a popular girl! – and powers a whopping 35% of all trading volume. Sure, there was that whole “where’s the money, honey?” drama a while back, but Tether’s all “chill, babes, we got nearly $120 billion in U.S. Treasuries and $5.6 billion in liquidity.” 🎤 Drop.

Word on the street is that this audacious assailant began their escapade with a mere 1 ETH, snatched from Tornado Cash, akin to a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat—except the rabbit was $44.2 million, and it wasn’t coming back! The funds swiftly darted from the depths of Solana back into the comforting bosom of Ethereum, a digital chase worthy of a screenplay.