qfx

Honestly, SOL’s momentum? It’s still four times weaker than BTC, making it look like the understudy who can’t quite take the stage. Its total value locked (TVL) remains flat-like a stagnant pond-showing liquidity hasn’t yet rushed in, despite the hype.

Merlijn The Trader, oracle of the charts, declares the 50 SMA a “divine arbiter” since 2021. In 2021, it summoned bears; in 2024, it blessed bulls. Now, Bitcoin hovers like a moth before a flame, daring to test this sacred threshold. “The 50 SMA decides everything,” he writes, as if the algorithm itself were a judge with a calculator. One wonders if the line knows its own power-or if it’s just a glorified spreadsheet. 📊

In a bit of a to-do on the old X, that analyst chappie Ali popped up and declared $0.30 to be the bee’s knees for support, marking the rather unfortunate lower bound of a descending channel that’s been bossing the token’s prices about since August like some tyrannical aunt. According to this Ali fellow, the zone’s been a buffer for the buyers, sparking wee rebounds and quelling further slumps with the fervor of Jeeves sorting out a trouser crease. Sarcasm intended, old bean – talk about playing nursemaid to a whimsical coin! 😏

Numbers don’t lie, folks. Solana’s got 2.5 million active users daily, and XRP’s got… 25,000. Ouch. 😬 And transactions? Solana’s doing 100 million a day, while XRP’s at 1.5 million. Vibhu’s like, “Yeah, the numbers speak for themselves,” and then he drops the mic. 🎤

They’re saying it’s because of “market volatility.” Which, in normal person speak, means people are panicking and clicking things. A lot. $295 billion worth of clicking. And $516 billion sitting on the platform, presumably generating dust bunnies and existential dread. Transaction revenue jumped to $1.05 billion. I don’t even want to think about what they’re charging in fees. It’s probably based on how stressed you are.

October’s drop was a measly 15%-practically a spa day compared to the usual altcoin bloodbath. 📉 And yet, here we are: flat volume, volatility tighter than my jeans after Thanksgiving, and an RSI that just won’t quit. Sound familiar? Yeah, because in May, this snooze-fest setup somehow turned into a 35% pump. Because crypto. 🤷‍♂️

With all the gravity of a coronation proclamation, court documents, in their grandiloquence, cited a courtly recovery rate of 143% in fiat. But this, dear reader, is a comedic miscalculation in the cryptocurrency kingdom, where valuations pirouette on volatile digital swings rather than stately dollar tables.

This stern reprimand follows what the regulators-ever so vigilant-described as an alarming surge in crypto-based wagering during Romania’s recent elections. Indeed, Polymarket’s trading volume reportedly surpassed a staggering $600 million, a sum so vast it might tempt even the most prudent of gentlemen into folly. 💸

The schism between the bullish and the gleaming is, as a recent missive from the cryptic oracle known as Ayni Gold suggests, a farce of the highest order. They are value rails, yes, but with the subtlety of a melodramatic duet. Both claim to outshine the other in their respective “lanes”-Bitcoin’s trailblazing chaos and Gold’s antiquated glint-yet their true rivalry lies in the absurdity of choosing. Imagine forgoing steak because potatoes exist.