qfx Now, allow us to ruminate, nay, to ponder the fate of Toncoin (TON). Will it wrestle free of the choking grip of its overhead resistance—like a pigeon escaping the clutches of a hungry cat? Or, as is often the case, shall we be left to wallow in despair, luminous charts be damned! Let us consult the mystical symbols upon which our financial fates hang.
Hedera [HBAR] finds itself once again on the brink of the perilous $0.26 cliff, a place that heralded a 50% nosedive earlier in the year—what a delightful memory, isn’t it?
The Trump family and other founders will maintain a way to profit from this arrangement, as their tokens won’t be unlocked in the first round. This could enable a future sale after retail investors, in their infinite wisdom, drive WLFI’s price up. 🤷♂️
In a recent post on X, our gallant Avenger opined that XRP is quietly becoming the backbone of international finance—much like how I rely on coffee to not melt into a puddle of existential dread every Monday morning. 😂 He even suggested that SWIFT is losing transactions like a clumsy waiter dropping plates at a fancy restaurant. Turns out, SWIFT’s transaction volume is down a shocking 15% while the XRP Ledger (XRPL) is partying like it’s 1999. 🎉
But do not think this is the only jewel of brilliance to emerge from the political swamp! Alongside GENIUS, the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act—aptly named Clarity—has also advanced, like a sheep among wolves, seeking to define the sacred roles of the SEC and CFTC in regulating crypto. Surely, this will end all confusion, because who could ever be confused about the duties of two competing regulatory bodies in the volatile world of digital assets? No one, right? And, lo and behold, another bill looms large on the horizon, one that seeks to bar the Federal Reserve from launching a central bank digital currency. You know, just in case we haven’t learned enough about digital currency to fill our lifetimes.
As the old model of hardware sales crumbles like a brittle biscuit underfoot, GameStop has turned its gaze to the glimmering allure of trading cards and collectibles. Cohen, with all the gravitas of a seer peering into the murky crystal ball of consumer behavior, asserts that there exists a genuine demand for the transactional ability of digital currencies. Oh, the very audacity of it all! 🎭
On Wednesday, July 16, Aethir (ATH) and Credible Finance decided to make the world a slightly more confusing place by introducing the first crypto credit card backed by DePIN. If you’re a node operator or token holder, you can now claim this card for free, because who doesn’t love free stuff, right? 🎉
Despite the substantial sum that slipped through their fingers, BigONE assured its loyal patrons that all private keys have been secured, and the breach has been contained to prevent further calamity. The exchange is now in league with the esteemed blockchain security firm, SlowMist, to track the stolen cryptocurrency across various blockchains, including Ethereum, Bitcoin, Solana, Tron, and Binance Smart Chain. 🛡️
According to the oracle of our times, Glassnode, Ethereum is the singular gem in the treasure chest of top ten nonstable coins, boasting a charming 27% increase in futures volume over the last 24 hours. Open interest has also pranced up like a peacock with a 6% rise, meanwhile, funding maintains a calm, collected neutrality at a quaint 0.0047%. So, fresh positioning abounds, without a trace of the weary extravagance that often plagues lesser mortals.✨
In a plot twist that could only be scripted by the gods of finance, an obscure trader has transformed $6,800 into a whopping $1.5 million in just two weeks—without so much as a meme coin in sight. No doggy coins, no jumping on market trends like a frenzied flea! 🐶
