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Enter Anchorpoint, strutting onto the stage with declarations of intent to apply for this coveted license. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? Industry gossips (bless their hearts) whisper that no licenses will be handed out before 2026-and only a select few will survive the first round of scrutiny. How delightfully exclusive! 😘

Now, for the juicy bit: Bitcoin and the S&P 500 are practically *joined at the hip* with an 80% correlation. Yep, you read that right-80%. That’s not a coincidence, folks! In the world of high correlation, if the S&P 500 continues its shiny rally, Bitcoin might just hop on the bandwagon, waving its digital pom-poms. On the flip side, if stocks take a dive, Bitcoin will probably have a little tantrum too. It’s all very interconnected, like an awkward dance at a family reunion.

Last week, the fellow in question, possessed of a prescience that appears to run approximately 180 degrees out of phase with reality, offloaded a rather substantial chunk of his holdings – a cool eight million dollars worth of Ether, plus a scattering of those frankly rather vulgar PEPE and ENA tokens. He blamed the Federal Reserve, a convenient scapegoat, and the increasingly alarming foreign policy pronouncements of Mr. Trump (a matter of general alarm, naturally, but hardly a new development). One gathered he wished to observe events from a safe distance, a commendable sentiment if only it had been informed by any genuine insight.

Cardano [ADA] has stepped up, gaining 4.88% in a single day-like a soldier returning from a victorious skirmish, or perhaps just desperate for praise.

Remember 2024? ETH felt like that single friend who keeps saying “I’m fine” while stress-eating frosting with a spoon. Fast-forward to this year and, surprise, the friend has 11 billion dollars in couch change and 60 new roommates. Crypto treasuries-formerly the Wall Street uncles who called Bitcoin “nerd money”-are suddenly bunking in Ethereum’s basement and re-painting the walls.

Ah, Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN), that paragon of prudence, announced on the whimsical date of August 8, 2025, that it’s bravely opening the floodgates to decentralization-well, sort of. U.S. users, save for the ever-elusive New Yorkers, can now flirt with the charm of a multitude of onchain assets-millions, no less! Chief Maestro Brian Armstrong took to social scrolls (X) to confide:

Below the peaks, AVAX is lounging near $23, a far cry from its lofty $146 throne, showing months of cozy “compression”-like a bear hug gone too long. Support at $20-$22 is holding, while recent price nudges above snappy short-term averages hint at a comeback-think of a boxer rising from the mat, dazed but determined to fight again.

Dogecoin, despite all the chaos in crypto world, has managed to rebound. It dipped-just enough to test its diagonal resistance, which it broke earlier in the month-then held above its support line like a stubborn cat refusing to fall off the couch. That support level is like that one buddy who’s always got your back, no matter what. And right now, it’s trading near $0.21, which is impressive considering it just shook the meme coin sector with an 8% surge-like a little turbo boost in a world of snails. The analysts? They’re dreaming big: $0.24, $0.30, and if the stars align? $0.38. Great, just what we need-a new target zone for meme dreams. 😏

The latest Form 13-F, submitted with grim purpose to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, chronicles this wager as of June 30, 2025. It’s one of academia’s heftiest leaps into the digital abyss-Harvard pens its name alongside 21st-century treasure-seekers. IBIT, too young to have a proper opinion, is a spot bitcoin exchange-traded fund. It lets investors play crypto without getting their hands (or tweed jackets) dirty. Yes, the “easy” way for Harvard: invest in bitcoin without being forced to decipher memes.

Shiba Inu (SHIB) bounced up 30% this year from its low-if only my cholesterol numbers were that optimistic. Still, it’s lagging behind the popular kids at the crypto party, 60% down from its November “I’m-on-top-of-the-world” price. You call that a rally?