qfx Prosecutors claim Woeltz and his sidekick, William Duplessie, kidnapped an Italian crypto trader named Michael Valentino Teofrasto Carturan. Translation: someone with a name that sounds like a Renaissance painting and enough Bitcoin to make a small country jealous. Allegedly, the duo tortured him for 17 days to steal a password worth $100 million. That’s right—$100 million. Not chicken nuggets. Not a house. BITCOIN.
Behold! Trader Rai has shared a chart that reads more like a Shakespearean tragedy than a trading setup. LINKUSDT.P executed what can only be described as a perfectly choreographed short trade, descending from the lofty heights of $17.50 to bow humbly before the take-profit altar at $16.60. Alas, poor LINK could not hold above its previous resistance structure, retreating instead with all the grace of a cat falling off a windowsill 🐱.
Operation Chokepoint 2.0 went out like yesterday’s meatloaf, but did you think the banks would just roll over? Please. They whipped up Chokepoint 3.0—now with extra hidden charges for every little move—like buying a cup of coffee and being charged for the cup, the sleeve, and the existential dread.
He fires off this beauty while everyone’s talking about revamping Twitter or whatever. Instead of, I dunno, talking about actual crypto stuff, he decides to drop this gem. Because nothing screams leadership like a hot take on communities. Or maybe he just doesn’t like people. Who can say? 🤷♂️
According to the latest trading disclosures (which probably took longer to read than the trades themselves), Ark Invest scooped up 94,678 shares of Coinbase (COIN)—worth about $29.8 million—across three of its funds. These include the ARK Innovation ETF (ARKK), ARK Next Generation Internet ETF (ARKW), and ARK Fintech Innovation ETF (ARKF). Talk about diversification!
Pump.fun [PUMP] started rising like a bird on a spring morning after falling 67% from its all-time high—bless its little memecoin heart. It’s got itself a clean breakout and some whale-sized interest, so maybe this old dog still has a few tricks up its sleeve.
It all kicked off with the kind of move everyone hopes they’ll never face—an insidious SIM swap attack that let this young prodigy sideline a crypto investor’s phone number, giving him unfettered access to a treasure trove of digital gold: 1,547 BTC and 60,000 Bitcoin Cash, valued at a cool $37 million—on a good day. Apparently, using two-factor authentication is just optional in some circles. Then he went full master criminal, laundering the loot through a ridiculously complicated maze of transactions designed to make even the most seasoned detective’s head spin.
During their latest earnings calls, the execs from these behemoths, which handle a staggering $13.2 trillion and $8 trillion alike—probably enough to buy a small island or at least a yacht—basically said, “Bring on the stablecoins. We’re not just watching from the sidelines, we’re jumping in!”
CB Insights, the beacon of business analytics, has bestowed upon Ripple a valuation of $15 billion, a sum so vast it could buy every coffee in Sweden for a year. ☕
Ethereum briefly dipped below $3,450 on August 3, 2025, marking a 5.04% daily decline. The pullback mirrors a wider market correction affecting top digital assets, including Bitcoin. As of the latest data from the Ethereum Liquid Index (ELX) by Brave New Coin, ETH is trading just above $3,400, holding on to a pivotal support level that previously triggered a 10% drop in July. 🚪📉