qfx 
Right now, Bitcoin is wallowing in its own consolidation range, much like a teenager moping around after a breakup. And in the futures market, there’s a veritable flood of short positions – clearly, some folks are betting on a dramatic twist.
📣 BREAKING NEWS (that no one needed): Bybit is expanding—yes, like waistlines after Thanksgiving—into Brazil, dragging Tether along for the ride! 🎢 Because nothing says “financial freedom” like an unregulated digital monopoly plaything!
In the great melodrama of cryptocurrencies, where tokens flounder like a fish out of water during market tumult, Hyperliquid carves a niche of defiance. When the price takes a nosedive, and trading activity reaches a crescendo, fees coalesce and dive right into buybacks. How splendidly ironic, as our friend DeFi Warhol eloquently noted, that HYPE found itself buoyed amidst the wreckage of the market in that calamitous month of April! 🎨💸
Back in the good ol’ days of January 15, 2011, this whale last made a transaction. Since then, Bitcoin has gone from a mere $0.393 to a staggering $118,561. That’s a gain of 30,168,093%—enough to make even the most stoic of investors do a jig. 🎉 The whale, bless its heart, accumulated this treasure over two days starting January 13, 2011. Talk about timing! ⏰
Leading this merry caravan, Fidelity, like a greedy magpie, dutifully hoarded over $100 million into its FBTC treasure chest. The ever-ambitious VanEck and the formidable BlackRock, ever the respectable bullies in the playground, followed suit, while Grayscale and Bitwise—those industrious little beavers—squeezed their share of the action too.
These so-called “sleeping bitcoins” slumber quietly in wallets, untouched for years—nay, decades! Such wallets, from a time when kings and commoners alike were baffled by the mere concept of blockchain, are scrutinized like a hawk watching its prey. What is it that stirs the heart of these long-dormant coins? Could it be a routine access recovery, or perhaps a delightful repositioning from some faceless institution? 🤔
In total, over 410.75 trillion SHIB have been burned from the original supply. However, the meme coin’s circulating supply remains high at around 584.5 trillion, keeping inflation pressures present. 📉📉
Ah, what a glorious third-place finish in the liquidation derby on Binance this year—XRP’s longs got wiped out with all the finesse of a clown tripping over his own feet! 😂
Bloomberg, that paragon of journalistic integrity, reports BitMine’s 566,776 ETH hoard (valued at $3,643.75 apiece). A staggering testament to faith—or madness. Tom Lee, BitMine’s managing partner, proclaims this a “long-term vision,” as if Ethereum’s future is a divine decree. The company, he claims, is hurtling toward ownership of 5% of ETH’s supply. A quest worthy of a tragic hero… or a fool. 😅
Ethereum’s [ETH] sharp breakout above $3,700 resulted in over $160 million in short liquidations on Binance. 📉 A most lamentable affair for those who dared to bet against the tide!
