Uptober’s Tragic Comedy: Crypto’s Fall from Grace 🌪️💸

October started as a farce and turned into a tragedy. Bitcoin, that digital Prometheus, soared to $126,000, only to be cast down by the gods of liquidity and leverage. Glassnode, those modern-day soothsayers, noted that Bitcoin “broke through the $114k-$117k supply zone,” a triumph as fleeting as a Russian summer. ☀️❄️

Crypto Crash! 📉 Is This The End?

The Bitcoin exodus amounted to a rather regrettable $366.59 million. BlackRock’s IBIT, predictably, bore the brunt of it at a dizzying $268.61 million. One wonders if their analysts are currently being subjected to a bracing lecture. Fidelity’s FBTC and Grayscale’s GBTC also contributed to the melancholy, shedding $67.37 million and $25.04 million respectively. Valkyrie BRRR, bless their modest hearts, managed only a paltry $5.57 million. Not a single ETF showed an inclination to gain anything. The trading volume, however, reached a somewhat frantic $8.20 billion, suggesting a considerable amount of panicked activity. Total assets are, at $143.93 billion, a perfectly respectable 6.75% of the Bitcoin market cap – though whether that’s cause for celebration or lament is a matter for philosophers. 🤔

ZCash: From Zero to Hero (Maybe)! 🚀

Lordy, that 20% drop was a sight to behold! Plummeted like a rock, it did. But then ZEC found itself restin’ right on top of some fancy Fibonacci support at $201.68. The RSI, that fella, dipped all the way down to 37, which means it was cheaper’n a used mule. But wouldn’t you know it, folks started pickin’ it up ’round the 38.2% retracement (fancy talk for a good buyin’ opportunity), sendin’ ZEC climbin’ a respectable 7.16% in just one day! Now it’s holdin’ steady around $216.15, with a market cap of $3.52 billion. It’s like watchin’ a cat with nine lives, I tell ya. 😹

DOGE: To the Moon (Maybe)! 🚀

Apparently, some very important people (we’re talking ‘large holders’, naturally) decided to offload $74 million worth of the stuff. Probably to fund their collection of vintage rubber ducks. A perfectly reasonable investment, one might argue. And all this happened while everyone was busy panicking about tariffs. Honestly, it’s like the world is actively trying to make less sense.