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July, it seems, was the month when Bitcoin’s price decided to play nice, giving miners a much-needed pat on the back (and their wallets). According to the wise sages at theblock.co, our intrepid miners pulled in a whopping $1.66 billion—a 19.42% leap from June’s mere $1.39 billion. Not bad for a month’s work, eh? 🤑⛏️

The saga unfolds thus: LuBian, at number six on the big-league miners’ leaderboard, enjoyed all the prestige one could want—until December 28, 2020, when an enterprising ne’er-do-well nipped in and filched 90% of their BTC. In a desperate bid to stop further calamity, LuBian scooped up what was left—some 11,886 BTC—and stuffed it into “recovery wallets.” Picture a frantic squirrel hoarding the last few acorns as the winter wind howls. 💸

This climb and descent business isn’t new. After a quick cooling spell earlier this summer, difficulty dipped to 116.9 trillion—like a miner catching his breath—before roaring back to life by July’s end. It’s all part of the grand dance—the flips and flops of hashrate, the collective brainpower of those miners turning coffee into digital gold. They’re like the weather, always changing, always demanding a new strategy.

Apparently, after Dmitry Medvedev hinted that maybe, just maybe, Trump’s 10-day “demand” to end the Ukraine kerfuffle was a tad on the cheeky side, Trump took it upon himself to stir the pot. Posting on Truth Social that “Words are very important and can often lead to unintended consequences,” he might’ve inadvertently given the markets a minor heart attack. Who knew that a single tweet could shake global markets more than the latest season of “The Real Housewives”? 🤯📉

In a riveting thread on the social media platform X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not?), Balchunas noted that US crypto ETFs raked in a jaw-dropping $12.8 billion in inflows last month. That’s right, folks, more than a small country’s GDP! This figure outpaced all other ETFs, including the mighty VOO, which is currently sitting pretty with $713.13 billion in assets. Talk about a David and Goliath story, if David had a really good financial advisor.

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During this turbulent act, the big guys with the fancy suits and big egos didn’t run, but instead stood their ground, defying the market’s tantrum. And sure enough, on August 1st, Ethereum ETFs saw their first dip in 20 days—a modest $152.3 million pulled out—hardly a meltdown, but enough to tickle the headlines.

SoSoValue, that oracle of digits, whispers of May’s $564 million and April’s $66.25 million, now mere footnotes in this grand ballet of capital. March’s $403 million outflow? A distant memory, like a forgotten lover’s name. Cumulative inflows now stand at $9.64 billion, a 129% surge from June. The ETFs, once shy debutantes, now strut like prima ballerinas, claiming 4.77% of Ethereum’s market cap. 🎭

The crypto prophet dropped an absolute bombshell: “You still don’t own enough Bitcoin for what’s coming.” Yes, apparently the future is so bright, even your wallet needs sunglasses—and perhaps an intervention. 😎

Now, BNB has this fancy trick: a limited supply of 200 million coins, and every so often, Binance “burns” some of them. Like, they lock them up in a digital vault and say, “These are gone forever!” Because nothing says “trust us” like deleting your own product. 🧨