qfx Bloomberg, the bard of Wall Street’s fever dreams, claims Ripple will toss some of its *own* XRP into this digital vault. Bold move for a company sitting on 4.74 billion tokens-roughly $11 billion worth-while another 36 billion rot in escrow. A monopoly? No, just “strategic abundance” 😏.
Well, if you’re a long trader, maybe! Looks like there’s a strong bearish grip! 🐻
The latest act? VanEck, bless their hearts, filed for an Ethereum staking ETF because nothing says “trust us” like a Delaware statutory trust registered on October 2nd-right between National Taco Day and the inevitable collapse of the US government. 🎪
Matt Mena, 21Shares’ crypto oracle, thinks ETF inflows and “ruinously generous” fiat policy could stop Bitcoin from hitting the floor (literally). Thanks, Matt, for the confidence boost. 🙏
These audacious campaigns are not merely aiming to pilfer cryptocurrency (isn’t it adorable how they think they can outsmart a technologically savvy world?), but they are also cozying up to networks like they’re attending the latest hip party, all while carefully avoiding detection through what can only be described as “sophisticated job recruitment scams”-an effort that would secure them positions in any Shakespearean drama! 🎭
Despite the chaos, some brave souls decided to buy-spot inflows swelled by $13.7 million. The MFI lingered above 50, like a stubborn mule holding its ground, whispering promises of resurgence. Ah, the eternal dance of greed and fear continues-who will emerge victorious?
In a plot twist worthy of a Bollywood blockbuster, Indian crypto exchange Wazirx has officially filed its sanctioned Scheme of Arrangement with the Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority (ACRA) in Singapore. That’s right, the paperwork is done, the i’s are dotted, and the t’s are crossed. Or at least, let’s hope they are. 🙏
The indictment against Mr. Zhi, unsealed in Brooklyn – naturally – reveals a positively fiendishly complex international fraud. Thousands of victims, sophisticated scams, shell companies… it’s like a particularly irritating episode of a detective show, only with more cryptocurrency and significantly less charming investigators. They laundered billions, you see. Billions. One wonders what they were planning to *do* with all that money. Fund a particularly ambitious collection of garden gnomes, perhaps?
The Ethereum Foundation (EF), ever the financial romancer, has made a grand onchain gesture, depositing 2,400 ETH and approximately $6 million in stablecoins into Morpho’s yield-bearing vaults. According to their X post, this move underscores EF’s ongoing commitment to advancing open-source and permissionless financial infrastructure within the Ethereum ecosystem-because who needs privacy when you can have transparency? 🤷♂️
The centerpiece of this union is OKX’s collateral mirroring programme, a fancy term for letting institutions park their assets in the vaults of a Global Systemically Important Bank (G-SIB) while they frolic in the digital asset markets. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, though one wonders if the cake is made of blockchain or just frosted with regulatory compliance. 🍰
