Algeria’s Crypto Crackdown: Jail Time and Fines Await the Brave!

Since July 24, under the ominous banner of Law No. 25-10, the government has declared war on all things crypto. Miners, traders, wallet users, and exchanges are all in the crosshairs. It’s like a game of whack-a-mole, but with a lot more at stake. The authorities are on a mission to stamp out any unregulated money sources and tackle the specters of money laundering and terrorist financing. 🎩💰

Smart Money’s Cryptic Dance: ETH, SOL, BONK, and SKY Take the Stage 🕺💰

The latest Bybit Smart Money report, whispered into the ears of crypto.news on July 30, reveals a choreography of dual-track strategies. Sophisticated investors, with the precision of seasoned dancers, deepen their engagement with Ethereum (ETH) through derivatives and staking products, while simultaneously casting sidelong glances at altcoins with the promise of asymmetric returns.

Bitcoin’s Melancholy: 3% GDP Rise Can’t Budge It Over $118K

In the grand tapestry of American economic life, the U.S. gross domestic product (GDP) expanded by 3% in the second quarter, as reported by the Department of Commerce’s Bureau of Economic Analysis. The news, akin to a rare ray of sunshine piercing through the gloom, brought a smile to the face of President Trump, who declared it a victory of his own making. Stock markets, ever the faithful followers of economic whims, responded with cautious optimism. Bitcoin, that enigmatic and oft-misunderstood currency, showed a glimmer of hope, rising a modest 0.41%. 🌟

Ethereum: A Decade of Dreaming, Decentralizing and Dodging

Vitalik Buterin, the supposed genius with a beard that’s seen more ups and downs than a rollercoaster, took the stage at ETHCC 2025 and declared, “Adoption alone doesn’t make you a hero.” Turns out, many so-called decentralized apps are about as autonomous as a vending machine that takes your money but never gives the snack. 🚀🕹️

Stubborn Bears, Doomed Dogs, and the Shiba Inu Price Tango—Analyst’s Gloomy Prophecy 🐕📉

Tradingview became a Dostoevskian confession booth, where a pseudonymous analyst whispered warnings into the void: SHIB hovered, moth-like, by the arc lamp of resistance. $0.000014—the candle on which so many dreams singed their wings. Above that, $0.00001432, one more step upward, a tatty curtain fluttering in the wind, and behind it—the bears, licking their chops, hungry for a post-rally snack.

Trump’s Crypto Blunder: Bitcoin MIA in Shocking Snub! 😂

Back in the day, Trump signed an executive order pushing for a Bitcoin stash and a full-on digital asset reserve. But this new report from the Working Group on Digital Asset Markets? Crickets on that front. It’s like they decided to pivot hard without even a courtesy text. Rude. 📵

Crypto’s July: Stablecoins Boom $4B & Bitcoin Vanishing Act! 🚀💸

Apparently, folks are taking their precious Bitcoin off the exchanges as if it’s hot potatoes—except this time, it’s a good thing. The reserves have been trickling down since January, and this 2% dip probably has traders sweating, thinking about the legendary Bitcoin supply squeeze. By the way, less than 15% of all Bitcoin was chilling on exchanges since 2018—fancy that? Looks like everyone’s hoarding, waiting for the moon. 🌙✨