Bank of America Finally Hops on the Crypto Choo-Choo 🚂💰

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Ah, the winds of change! How they sweep through the halls of finance, rustling the papers of the once-staid and now somewhat bewildered Bank of America. In the waning days of December 2025, this venerable institution, with its august advisors-numbering over 15,000 across Merrill, Private Bank, and the ever-so-modern Merrill Edge-deigned to update its policy. Lo and behold, they now permit the recommendation of 1% to 4% crypto allocations via spot Bitcoin ETFs. Such names as BlackRock’s IBIT, Fidelity’s FBTC, Bitwise’s BITB, and Grayscale’s Mini Trust shall henceforth grace their portfolios, commencing January 5, 2026. A proactive shift, they call it, though one might whisper it is but a belated dance to the tune already played by the likes of Morgan Stanley (2% to 4%) and Vanguard. 🕺💼

The SEC, that stern guardian of financial propriety, had given its nod to these ETFs in 2024, yet Bank of America, ever cautious, had hitherto required the explicit pleas of its clients before dipping a toe into these turbulent waters. Now, managing a staggering $1.7 trillion in assets, they view crypto as a “high-risk innovation,” akin to private equity-a playground, if you will, for those with a stomach for volatility. 🌪️📈

Oh, the irony! The same institution that once eyed Bitcoin with the skepticism of a Victorian matron now embraces it, albeit with the tentative enthusiasm of a novice at a ball. “Suitable for volatility-tolerant clients,” they declare, as if volatility were a mere spice to be sprinkled on the bland porridge of traditional investments. 🧂🤑

And so, the crypto choo-choo rolls on, with Bank of America finally aboard, clutching its hat and wondering if it’s too late to find a seat. 🚂💨

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2026-01-05 14:08