Behold! A Bitcoin Mining Beast That Devours Petahashes Like Vodka đŸŸâšĄ

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Ah, the relentless march of progress! Like a drunken peasant stumbling upon a sack of gold, ASIC technology has lurched forward yet again. And lo, from the depths of Shenzhen-that bustling hive of wires and dreams-emerges MicroBT’s newest contraption, a monstrous device that chews through 1,035 terahashes per second (TH/s) as if they were stale breadcrumbs. That’s right, dear reader, 1.35 petahashes per second (PH/s)! A number so absurd, it might as well be scribbled on a tavern wall by a delirious mathematician.

The Whatsminer M70 Series: A Petahash Odyssey (Or How to Burn Money Faster Than a Winter Furnace)

At the Bitcoin MENA 2025 conference in Abu Dhabi-where the air is thick with ambition and the occasional whiff of desperation-MicroBT unveiled its M70 series. With this, they join Bitmain in the illustrious “Petahash Club,” a dubious honor reserved for those who dare to cram more computing power into a metal box than should be legally permissible.

The MicroBT Whatsminer M79S, a hydro-cooled monstrosity, spits out 1.35 PH/s, narrowly outpacing Bitmain’s Antminer S23 Hydro 3U, which merely coughs up 1.16 PH/s. Truly, a battle of titans! Or perhaps just two very expensive space heaters vying for dominance in the world’s most convoluted arms race.

Now, let us speak of power-because what’s a mining rig without the ability to bankrupt a small nation? The M79S gulps down 20,000 watts like a parched Cossack at a vodka festival. Efficiency? A laughable 14.8 joules per terahash (J/TH). Bitmain’s S23 Hydro 3U, meanwhile, sips daintily at 11,020 W and boasts a superior 9.5 J/TH. Efficiency, it seems, is for those who fear the electric bill.

Profitability? Ah, yes, the cruel mistress of mining. On December 18, 2025, Bitmain’s machine was projected to earn $33.21 per day-enough for a modest dinner in Dubai. The M79S? A paltry $31.76. But fear not! The M79S has a “normal mode,” where it pretends to be civilized, drawing a mere 14,000 W and achieving 13.5 J/TH. A quaint attempt at restraint.

Yet, these machines reign supreme in the brutal world of industrial mining, where only the most efficient (or most reckless) survive. With Bitcoin’s hashrate now exceeding a zettahash per second (ZH/s)-a number so large it defies comprehension-these petahash beasts are the new kings of the hill. Or perhaps the new fools in the gold rush.

And what of Bitcoin’s price? Ah, yes, sliding into the $80,000 range like a sleigh on an icy hill. Miner revenue? Still pitiful. Fees? Less than 1% of the block reward. But who needs profits when you have bragging rights?

In the end, the M79S and S23 Hydro 3U are not mere machines-they are harbingers of a future where brute force meets desperation, where efficiency is the difference between survival and bankruptcy. The age of petahash miners is upon us, and with it, the quiet rewriting of mining economics. Or, as Gogol might say, “A tale of greed, folly, and enough electricity to power a small village.”

FAQ ⚡ (Because Even Madness Demands Explanation)

  • What is the MicroBT Whatsminer M79S?
    A hydro-cooled abomination that devours electricity and excretes 1.35 PH/s of SHA256 hashrate. Perfect for industrial miners who enjoy living on the edge.
  • How does the M79S compare to Bitmain’s Antminer S23 Hydro 3U?
    One is a gluttonous beast, the other a slightly less gluttonous beast. Choose your poison.
  • Why are petahash-class miners important in 2025?
    Because Bitcoin’s hashrate has surpassed 1 ZH/s, and miners must now compete in a game of “Who Can Burn Money Fastest?”
  • When is the M79S expected to be deployed at scale?
    2026, presumably when miners have accepted their fate as indentured servants to the electricity grid.

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2025-12-19 03:29