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Dearest Market Moguls and Cryptocurrency Connoisseurs:
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Ah, another week where governments decide to play peekaboo with their responsibilities! The U.S. government shutdown might finally shuffle off this mortal coil, though don’t expect it to last longer than my patience for politicians 🤡. Spoiler: This could magically inflate both equities and crypto like a giant bubblegum bubble goodbye to the U.S. fiscal minefield. Oh, but hold your horses-President Trump’s “tariff dividend” bonanza (fund it with taxes, not magic beans, folks) could sprout wild enthusiasm for crypto cholesterol levels. 😂
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This week’s earnings circus is more chaotic than a chocolate-factory mishap with CoreWeave (CRWV) and Circle Internet (CRCL) taking the spotlight. CoreWeave, the AI cloud jester, faces its clown car of investors after offering $9 billion for Core Scientific-a deal rejected faster than a bad cupcake 🍩. Circle, the proud issuer of the second-largest stablecoin (which somehow still sticks around), debuts on Wednesday. Brace yourselves; this is crypto in its finest hour of questionable decisions. 🤡
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What to Watch
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Token Events
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Conferences
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- Nov. 10-11: FTT Fintech Festival (London) – Because nothing says “financial innovation” like drinking tea with robots. 🐉
- Nov. 11-13: Mining Disrupt Conference (Dallas) – Where chips are mined faster than lies at a poker table. ⛏️
- Nov. 12-13: Cardano Summit 2025 (Berlin) – A place where blockchain dreams go to… probably scale? 🤷
- Nov. 12-14: Blockchain Summit Latam 2025 (Medellin, Colombia) – A jungle of digital keys! 🌿
- Nov. 13: Canadian Bitcoin Consortium\’s 5th Annual Summit (Toronto) – 5th time’s the charm, right? 🔌
- Nov. 13: Digital Asset Investment Event (Amsterdam) – Dutch investors are still waiting for the tide to recede. 💰
- Nov. 13-14: Bitcoin Amsterdam – Where everyone’s rich, and no one can nap. 🚇
- Nov. 14: ICAEW\’s Crypto and Digital Assets Conference (London) – Because hieroglyphics just aren’t professional enough. 🐺
- Nov. 14-15: Adopting Bitcoin 2025 (San Salvador, El Salvador) – A two-day date with B Svengali. 💠
- Nov. 15-16: Staking Summit 2025 (Buenos Aires) – Where apologies are made to crypto whales and sharks. 🤏
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Markets
Dearest Market Moguls and Cryptocurrency Connoisseurs:
Ah, another week where governments decide to play peekaboo with their responsibilities! The U.S. government shutdown might finally shuffle off this mortal coil, though don’t expect it to last longer than my patience for politicians 🤡. Spoiler: This could magically inflate both equities and crypto like a giant bubblegum bubble goodbye to the U.S. fiscal minefield. Oh, but hold your horses-President Trump’s “tariff dividend” bonanza (fund it with taxes, not magic beans, folks) could sprout wild enthusiasm for crypto cholesterol levels. 😂
This week’s earnings circus is more chaotic than a chocolate-factory mishap with CoreWeave (CRWV) and Circle Internet (CRCL) taking the spotlight. CoreWeave, the AI cloud jester, faces its clown car of investors after offering $9 billion for Core Scientific-a deal rejected faster than a bad cupcake 🍩. Circle, the proud issuer of the second-largest stablecoin (which somehow still sticks around), debuts on Wednesday. Brace yourselves; this is crypto in its finest hour of questionable decisions. 🤡
What to Watch
Token Events
Conferences
- Nov. 10-11: FTT Fintech Festival (London) – Because nothing says “financial innovation” like drinking tea with robots. 🐉
- Nov. 11-13: Mining Disrupt Conference (Dallas) – Where chips are mined faster than lies at a poker table. ⛏️
- Nov. 12-13: Cardano Summit 2025 (Berlin) – A place where blockchain dreams go to… probably scale? 🤷
- Nov. 12-14: Blockchain Summit Latam 2025 (Medellin, Colombia) – A jungle of digital keys! 🌿
- Nov. 13: Canadian Bitcoin Consortium’s 5th Annual Summit (Toronto) – 5th time’s the charm, right? 🔌
- Nov. 13: Digital Asset Investment Event (Amsterdam) – Dutch investors are still waiting for the tide to recede. 💰
- Nov. 13-14: Bitcoin Amsterdam – Where everyone’s rich, and no one can nap. 🚇
- Nov. 14: ICAEW’s Crypto and Digital Assets Conference (London) – Because hieroglyphics just aren’t professional enough. 🐺
- Nov. 14-15: Adopting Bitcoin 2025 (San Salvador, El Salvador) – A two-day date with B Svengali. 💠
- Nov. 15-16: Staking Summit 2025 (Buenos Aires) – Where apologies are made to crypto whales and sharks. 🤏
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2025-11-10 12:12