Bitcoin ETFs Explode with $1.7B Inflows as Crypto Market Surpasses $4T – Again! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ“ˆ

The rivers of gold have surged once more, carving paths through the arid plains of skepticism. A billion and seven hundred million in inflows this week alone, as if the earth itself is exhaling treasures into the hands of the hopeful. Wednesdayโ€™s $800 million? A mere ripple in the tide of greed and ambition. ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿ’ธ

Thursdayโ€™s ledger reads like a sermon of the modern age: net inflows, $1.7 billion. The ETFs, once shunned like lepers in the financial cathedral, now bask in the glow of renewed faith. Their weekly triumph? The largest in two months, a phoenix rising from the ashes of doubt. ๐Ÿ”ฅ

The Bitcoin beast, that capricious titan, has reared its head once more, scaling the heights of $115,000 with the grace of a mountain goat and the stubbornness of a mule. Up 4.5% since last Friday, it grinds its teeth like a locomotive on a track of chaos. ๐Ÿš‚โ‚ฟ

Spot Ether ETFs Recover from Nearly $800 Million in Outflows

The Ether ETFs, once scorched by the winds of doubt, now rise like phoenixes from the ashes of $800 million in outflows. $230 million in net inflows this week-a redemption arc worthy of Shakespeare, if heโ€™d ever owned cryptocurrency. ๐ŸŽ†

BitMine, that titan of the digital age, has amassed a hoard of 2 million ETH, its coffers swelling with the weight of $9.3 billion. On Monday, it purchased 202,500 ETH, then 200 million more from Bitgo. A dragon guarding its gold, but with better ROI. ๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ’ฐ

The Strategic ETH Reserveโ€™s ledger tells a tale of kings and kingdoms: 2 million ETH for BitMine, 5 million for the reserve companies, 6.6 million for ETF issuers. Twelve million ETH, 10% of the circulating supply, now in institutional hands. A silent coup, orchestrated by algorithms and spreadsheets. ๐Ÿ“Š

CZ Compares the Crypto Market Cap to Nvidia

The crypto market, that sly fox, has slinked past $4.1 trillion again. Changpeng Zhao, the Binance oracle, cackled on X: โ€œThe combined market cap of all future money is less than one chip companyโ€™s market cap. You do the math.โ€ ๐Ÿ˜… A riddle wrapped in a paradox, sold at a discount. ๐Ÿค”

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2025-09-12 17:19