Bitcoin (BTC), in a moment of existential confusion, decided to hover around the $88,000 mark on Sunday, while traders nervously sipped tea and stared at screens like they were waiting for the universe to reveal its secrets.
Key points:
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The Bitcoin market, much like a group of indecisive aliens, is split between hoping for a six-figure price tag and preparing for a dramatic plunge to $70,000, which, for some reason, feels like a cosmic bargain.
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Optimists dream of BTC hitting six figures, while pessimists are already drafting wills in case it plummets. It’s the ultimate financial game of chicken.
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Binance inflows are causing panic, because nothing says “stability” like moving $1.4B into a place that once lost a spaceship to a black hole.
Trader: Bitcoin’s Bullish Breakout in “Next Few Days”
Data from CryptoMoon Markets and TradingView revealed BTC/USD was trapped in a $5,000 box, like a confused goldfish. It’s been there for eight days, and the only breakout attempt involved a YouTube tutorial on how to breathe.
The pair traded within a $5,000 corridor for its eighth day, and the trading community increasingly saw a breakout attempt coming next.
Ted Pillows, crypto oracle and part-time intergalactic diplomat, suggested a “relief rally” might occur, which is just a fancy way of saying “the market might pretend to care for a few minutes.”
“A pump towards the $98,000-$100,000 level before the next leg down. Because why not add a rollercoaster to the apocalypse?”
An accompanying weekly chart compared RSI bearish divergences now and through 2021, the final year of Bitcoin’s last bull market. Spoiler: nothing went wrong.
Pillows also warned that if buyer pressure failed to stop the 100-week EMA from crossing below its SMA, we’d be in for a crash. Because, as we all know, technical indicators are just the universe whispering predictions through a megaphone.
Trader Captain Faibik boldly claimed Bitcoin would “breakout” soon, which is crypto-speak for “I hope this works, or I’m buying pizza with my remaining savings.”
“In the next few days, Bitcoin will breakout & then everyone will rush in with FOMO entries which won’t be beneficial,” he predicted, because nothing says “expertise” like gambling with other people’s money.
Korinek_Trades, armed with Elliott Wave theory and a questionable understanding of chaos, insisted BTC would hit $150K. Eventually. Maybe.
“We should still see another higher high for blue W5 up to ATH complete a 5 wave structure,” they claimed, because counting waves is obviously the key to predicting the future.
“Projecting upside targets to 150K. Because why not? The universe loves a good stretch goal!”
Back to $70,000 BTC?
CryptoQuant, a platform that analyzes on-chain data like it’s decoding hieroglyphs, warned BTC might revisit the $70,000 “demand zone.” Because nothing says “demand” like a price floor crumbling under its own weight.
“Bitcoin remains ‘fragile,’ like a house of cards built by a toddler,” they wrote, which is probably true if you’ve ever seen a trader’s spreadsheet.
CryptoOnchain also blamed Binance for inflating BTC’s chances of falling, because nothing says “trust” like depositing funds into a platform that once got hacked by a guy with a calculator.
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2025-12-21 19:33