BITCOIN’S GOING BUST IN 2 WEEKS? SELL NOW OR REGRET IT FOREVER! 😂💸

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Oh, great, now Bitcoin‘s hitting a new all-time high of almost $126,000 over the weekend? Because what this volatile nightmare needed was another surge. Move over, tulip mania, we’ve got digital gold fever here. 🙄📈

But hold onto your HODLing hats, folks-a famous market expert (who probably eats kale and predicts rain) is saying this bull run is gonna fizzle out in about two weeks. Yeah, investors, you’ve got a tiny window to grab your profits before everyone else’s gets flushed down the crypto toilet. Typical market nonsense, right? 😏⏰

A Final Push to New Highs? More Like a Final Flush

According to this on-chain guru Gigi Sulivan, Bitcoin’s cyclical BS says the bull party’s over by October 20. They calculated it from the April 2024 halving, like it’s some magical date in the stars or whatever. Historically, these things last 546 days. Who knew the universe cared about crypto calendars? 🌌📅

“Whether you wanna believe it or not-and let’s be honest, half of you won’t until you’re crying into your empty wallet-considering we’re seeing another push to ATH, those next two weeks are probably your best shot at taking profits and waiting patiently around 12 months for those lovely discount prices during the Bear phase,” Sulivan advised. Patiently? Says the guy probably bit his nails through the last crash. 😂🧘

Despite all this wild upward momentum, the analyst thinks that dreamy $150,000 to $200,000 top? Forget it, time’s up, buckaroo. Nope, not happening with the clock ticking like that. 🕒🚫

“I’m expecting the Fear and Greed Index to spike over 80, just like in the happy end-of-bull days in Nov 2021,” they noted. “Take that as a ginormous Sell signal, especially when Supply % in profit is practically waving a white flag at 100%.” Tech jargon for “run for the hills,” am I right? 🙀📉

Backing this up, some on-chain wizard named CryptoOnchain spotted a whopping $4 billion in stablecoins yanked from exchanges since September 22, with Binance hogging 75% of the action. Apparently, it’s all the cool kids cashing out, leaving less cash sloshing around for instant buys. So, market might just sit there and stew, or worse, correct itself. Consolidation? More like constipation in the crypto world. 😩💸

Still, some reports are chanting for Everest-level peaks. Like, analysts from The DeFi Report say the four-year cycle is still kicking, and BTC could climb to $160k-$170k by end of 2025. Their data? High profit grabs and MVRV-Z scores still swinging high, so maybe we’re not at the summit yet. Color me skeptical, but okay, keep dreaming. 🤞🤑

Price Action, Cycles, and Outlook: The Endless Rollercoaster

As I’m typing this-probably while nursing a headache-Bitcoin’s at $123,648, down 1.1% in 24 hours. But hey, still 10.6% up on the week, 11.6% in a month, and basically doubled from last year. Peaks and valleys, peaks and valleys, like my mood swings after a bad investment decision. 🎢😵

Over seven days, it’s bounced between $111,656 and $125,361, now 1.6% shy of Sunday’s high. Record highs every weekend? Sounds exhausting. 😴📊

Meanwhile, CoinGecko’s report spills the tea that each halving cycle gives smaller returns now. 2017 was a 29x party, 2021 a measly 6.7x, and this one’s not even at 100% yet. Gains leveling off while we smash records? The house always wins, especially in crypto. 🏡💥

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2025-10-06 14:46