Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: From Moon to Gutter in a New York Minute 🚀💸

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Markets

What to know: 🧐

  • Well, shucks, Wednesday’s crypto rally was about as reliable as a politician’s promise. Bitcoin shot up like a rocket 🚀, kissed $90,000, and then plummeted faster than a lead balloon. Back to $87,000 it went, leaving traders scratching their heads and checking their wallets. 😵‍💫
  • Meanwhile, the AI darlings-Nvidia, Broadcom, and Oracle-took a nosedive. The Nasdaq? Down more than 1%. Guess the robots aren’t taking over just yet. 🤖💔

Crypto markets did the ol’ whipsaw dance this morning, with bitcoin doing the financial equivalent of a drunken cartwheel. Up to $90,000 one minute, back to $87,000 the next. It’s like the market had too much coffee and not enough sense. ☕🤪

At last check, the big BTC was trading at $87,300, down 0.5% in 24 hours. Minutes earlier, it was up 3%. Talk about a mood swing-this market’s got more drama than a soap opera. 🎢😂

The AI stocks took a beating too, with Nvidia, Broadcom, and Oracle dropping 3%-6%. The Nasdaq followed suit, down over 1%. Seems like the AI hype train hit a pothole. 🚂💥

Adding to the fun, Blue Owl Capital bailed on a $10 billion Oracle data center deal in Michigan. Guess they decided their money was better spent on something less… futuristic. 🦉💨

All this chaos triggered $190 million in liquidations across crypto derivatives. Longs and shorts both got hit-$72 million here, $121 million there. It’s like a financial game of musical chairs, and nobody’s got a seat. 🎶💺

Hunter Rogers, co-founder of TeraHash, says shrinking liquidity’s to blame. “The market’s exhausted,” he quipped. “Even a mild sell-off sends it tumbling.” Sounds like the crypto world needs a nap. 😴💤

His advice? BTC needs to hold $80,000-$85,000. If it doesn’t, we might see new lows. But hey, what’s life without a little risk, right? 🎲💰

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2025-12-17 19:36