Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: The Crypto Crash You Didn’t See Coming 😱💸

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  • Oh, Monday. That one day we all thought crypto was staging a comeback. Spoiler: It didn’t. 🙃
  • Bitcoin? Back to its inauguration-day price like it’s trying to relive the glory days. Down 11% from its record high-because why not? 📉
  • Altcoins? Oh, they’re just out here living their best *nightmare*. Ether dropped 8% in 24 hours. No biggie. Just another Monday in crypto land. 😴
BTCBTC$109,702.41◢2.70%
DOGEDOGE$0.2220◢5.10%
ADAADA$0.9110◢5.95%

Ah yes, the weekend crypto plunge. We all thought, “Oh, it’s just a phase!” But nope. Bitcoin slipped back below $110k faster than you can say “HODL.” Now it’s chilling at $109,700, barely ahead of its inauguration-day price. How nostalgic. 🎩💸

Remember when bitcoin tried to rally to $113k? Cute. That dream lasted about as long as my last relationship. It plummeted to a seven-week low instead. Recently? Down 2.7% in 24 hours and 7% since Jay Powell gave us all hope with his Jackson Hole speech. Classic Fed. 🐻‍❄️

And altcoins? Oh, they were doing so well during Sunday’s chaos. But Monday came around, and boom-ether dropped nearly 8%. Solana, dogecoin, Cardano, Chainlink? All down 6%-8%. It’s like they’re auditioning for the next season of *Drama Queens: Crypto Edition.* 🎭📉

But wait, there’s more! Nearly $700 million in leveraged trades got liquidated today. That’s right, folks. $627 million of those were longs. Poor souls. And if that doesn’t make you want to hide under a rock, September’s historically bad returns for BTC and ETH might. Weak seasonality, anyone? 🍂💀

UPDATE (Aug. 25, 20:28 UTC): Thanks, CoinGlass, for reminding us how much money people lost today. Truly heartwarming stuff. ❤️‍🩹

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2025-08-26 00:02