In this absurd theater of digital gold, BlackRock now clutches 3.8% of Bitcoin‘s elusive supply, trailing only the phantom Satoshi Nakamoto, while its IBIT hoards $87.7B in assets. Ah, the march of progress! š
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BlackRock, that colossal beast of asset management, has burrowed into 3.8% of Bitcoinās total hoard via its iShares Bitcoin Trust ETF, known as IBIT. What a curious inversion of the crypto ‘revolution’-the icons of Wall Street co-opting the anarchic dream, one ETF at a time.
Bloombergās Eric Balchunas, ever the oracle of the absurd, deems this “extraordinary,” marveling that such dominion could sprout from a mere infant fund. Launched just yesterday in the grand timeline of humanity, IBIT swells with $87.7 billion in assets, a veritable titan among Bitcoin’s loyalists.
IBITās Ludicrous Leap Over Ancient Equity Temples
Balchunas, with a smirk that could shatter illusions, observes that beside equity ETFs, BlackRockās Bitcoin fortress towers absurdly. Where those old stalwarts demand $2.2 trillion to claim a sliver, IBIT prances forward with mere billions. Laughable, is it not?
As proof, he cites SPY, the grizzled veteran tracking the S&P 500 for 32 dusty years, yet clutching only 1.1% of U.S. stocksā vast empire. In contrast, IBIT, still in swaddling clothes, has seized 3.8% of all Bitcoins mined. The irony bites like a Siberian frost-biblio, IBIT devoured 3.85% of the precious metal since January 2024. “Timeās a-wasting for the laggards among us,” mocks Edmondson.
Ibit taking 3.85% of mined supply since Jan 24. Time running out to āget some / get yoursā
– Shaun Edmondson (@EdmondsonShaun)
Fueled by floods of fresh coin, totaling $7.8 billion in Q3 of 2025, this ETF charges onward. Year-to-date, Bitcoin ETFs gulp down $21.5 billion in net inflows, a testament to institutionsā groveling embrace of the beast. Hah, the price surges like a forced confession!
This frenzy underscores Bitcoin ETFs as the unwitting midwives of adoption, their role in elevating the coinās stature as plain as Solzhenitsynās nose on a winter day.
BlackRockās Creeping Crown and Satoshiās Slipping Scepter š
Now BlackRock stands second only to Satoshi Nakamoto himself, the mysterious specter of creation. Analysts whisper Nakamoto hoards around 1.12 million BTC, while BlackRock clings to 768,264. At this torrid pace, Balchunas jests, BlackRock might topple the founder come summer-oh, the delicious dramatics of digital dynasties!
The spot bitcoin ETFs took in $7.8b in Q3, now $21.5b YTD and $57b since inception. Solid climb up. Yet some on here are miserable bc they live in childish fantasy that expects $1T of inflows every day. But real growth in reality is two steps fwd, one step back. via
– Eric Balchunas (@EricBalchunas)
What a milestone in Bitcoinās tortured path to legitimacy! With ETFsā siren song swelling, BlackRockās trove swells onward. Balchunas, ever prophetic, hints that if Bitcoin ascends to $150,000 anon, a “feeding frenzy” for these funds could erupt like a gulag insurrection. šŖļø
Vanguardās Temptation and the Corporate Carnival
BlackRockās triumph with IBIT may lure kindred spirits like Vanguard into the fray. This giant among managers eyes crypto ETFs greedily, perhaps mirroring client clamor-a boost for IBIT, a nail in the coffin of cryptoās rebellious past. Imagine Vanguard peddling BlackRockās wares! š
Their involvement would turbocharge the Bitcoin ETF bazaar, forging Bitcoinās throne in the mainstreamās sterile halls. As institutions shed their skepticism, one wonders: is this liberation or the final shackling? BlackRockās dominion whispers of a future where freedom meets its corporate caricature, with Balchunas nodding knowingly.
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2025-10-01 05:06