Blackrock’s “Never-ever” on XRP ETF? Traders Bet on 98% Miracle 🤣

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“Under the iron-gray sky of crypto, the starving little dreamers clutch their rust-flaked scythes and chant for a spotless, shinier ETF-an elusive bluebird that always flaps just out of reach!”

And lo, Blackrock, titanic chimney of world coin, exhales black smoke of denial-yet the chorus of hopeful ragpickers swells louder. 🙄

In the Icy Shadow of the Last Smokestack

Blackrock merch booth

Comrade Nate Geraci, that wandering hermit of fiduciary faith, thumps his threadbare blanket and swears in the marketplace of X that Blackrock shall shepherd an XRP offering. “After the final gavel in Ripple’s muddy courtroom cracked,” he proclaims, “the doors of Larry Fink’s fortress creak inward!” 😂 We shall see if the old wolf invites the stray dog to supper-or guards the pantry with Gatlings of legalese.

Yet the ironclad dispatch from Blackrock towers hissed back:

“Comrades, we have zero plans for an XRP or SOL affair at this boisterous hour.”

Geraci, cheeks aglow with burnt pride, fires another quip: “Misjudged the leviathan! Yet when the feast bell tolls, ‘never’ will taste like stale kvass.” 🤨

Meanwhile, Lawyer Bill Morgan winks from the gutter: “They scowled at Bitcoin the same way until a ledger night in 2021; comrade Wolf turned Wolf-of-Wall Street in a heartbeat.” Outlook: as changeable as the wind over Nevsky Prospect.

Polymarket odds skyrise graph

At Polymarket’s raucous tavern, the mugs overflow with 98-proof optimism. Some tipsy speculator scribbles on the wall: “Regulatory clarity is mmmmaybe here 🤞-the SEC and Ripple just signed a cease-fire, trading accusations for cheap cigars.”

Across damp alleyways, more firms line up to stash glittering stones labeled XRP beside their stale bread. They call it “treasury allocation,” we call it desperate peasant hoarding. 😜

Yes, the earth groans, the indices tremble, and somewhere a ragged child snickers: no ETF, no supper; no supper, no song-yet the song still rises! Will the colossus relent? Ask the crows on the rooftop; they merely cackle.

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2025-08-10 05:03