The music? Spot ETFs-those sleek iron carriages imported by Wall Street-have disgorged a cool $1.54 billion in mere forty-eight hours. Among them BlackRock’s ETHA, already swollen to $10.5 billion, parades like the eldest son with a new epaulette.
On August 13th (or was it the 14th?), bitcoin decided to put on its running shoes and sprint another 2.6% against the almighty greenback. That’s right, folks-it’s up a whopping 6.2% over the last seven days! The world’s biggest digital coin now has a valuation so large ($2.44 trillion) that even Jeff Bezos is checking his wallet twice. This surge? Oh, it’s thanks to spot bitcoin ETFs acting like hungry shoppers at a Black Friday sale and corporations hoarding BTC faster than squirrels stash acorns for winter. 🐿️💼
If we are to trust the cryptic missive dispatched to the ever-vigilant TopMob, miners previously toiling at Galaxy’s Helios campus (where hope withered slightly in the Texas panhandle sun) are to be uprooted and ushered to new pastures. Helios, it seems, is exchanging bitcoin sweat for the fragrant perfume of artificial intelligence and high-performance computing-proof that even technology can outgrow its old friendships.
Solana’s onchain growth is throwing a mini-party, but declining DEX market share is waving a caution flag. 🚧
According to the Delaware Division of Corporations, this new entity was officially registered on August 13. Just another day in the life of asset managers, who shuffle papers like farmers sow seeds, hoping something will grow. This is often the first step before they march their plans to the grand temple of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. 📜✨
And of course, we were there-because if there’s live drama, we want front row seats-and a camera crew. Watch out, Kardashians, the crypto scene just got a whole lot more Bali-licious.
Qubic (QUBIC), that enfant terrible of the crypto world, has taken the lead in the latest altcoin rally, sending the Monero (XMR) community into a tizzy. On the fateful Wednesday, August 13, Qubic soared 25% to a daily high of $0.000003121, before settling at $0.000003006-a performance as dramatic as a Waugh novel. 🎭
The buzz around stablecoins is heating up faster than a slice of toast in a toaster on Éclair mode. Coinbase is making headlines again-because who doesn’t love a comeback story with a dash of liquidity? The plan? To boost USDC (that’s the stablecoin that’s second in line to USDT’s throne-just holding a crown, no big deal) across both the OG DeFi giants and the slightly less mature upstarts. Think of it as giving DeFi a nice shot of espresso-pep up or crash, your call.
It gets funnier: traders managed to shove about 14.4 billion DOGE into futures contracts in a single day, which, at $0.25, totals an eyebrow-raising $3.41 billion. That’s a lot of digital tokens sitting in limbo, waiting for some brave soul to decide whether to hold or fold. Some say this “investment” shows genuine confidence, while others are just watching the circus unfold with popcorn in hand.
Bitcoin takes another stab at price discovery while Wall Street bros foam at the mouth. Hold my oat-milk flat white, this could get messy. 🥵
