Crypto’s Latest Fling: Tokenizing Everything 🤑

Apparently, these RWAs include tokenized fixed-income and equity financial instruments. How quaint. According to Ripple, the blockchain company behind XRPL, this is all part of a grand plan to make the tokenized RWA market a $19 trillion behemoth by 2033. One does hope they’re not getting ahead of themselves, dear.

Ethereum’s Epic Dilemma: Will It Break $3,000 or Slip Back to $2,220?

The Ethereum price is currently stabilizing near $2,520 after bouncing back from June lows. This recovery flipped a key Fibonacci level—the 76.4% retracement from the $2,523 to $2,372 drop—suggesting a potential trend reversal. However, immediate resistance lies at $2,665 and $2,720, with bulls needing a clear break above $2,735 to confirm a path toward the $3,000 target.

US Lawmakers Scrutinize Zelle’s $870M Customer Losses, Banks Face Reimbursement Heat 🕵️‍♂️💰

In a series of letters that could double as a modern-day version of the Magna Carta, lawmakers have demanded answers from Zelle’s parent company and the banks that own it—JPMorgan Chase, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Capital One, PNC Bank, US Bank, and Truist. The questions are simple, but the implications are anything but: What’s going on with all these scams, and why are you not doing more to stop them?

LTC Whales Depart All Sense: 105.9 Million Coins Swapped in 24 Hours?!

But as is always the case in our curious land, excess breeds more excess. Whale transactions did not pause for reflection before the mirror; no, they soared to dizzying heights. The weekly tallies, for those hopelessly addicted to numbers, present a drama of their own: a piteous trough at 12.03 million LTC, followed by a manic peak at 93.75 million LTC. Imagine, dear reader, if Gogol’s townsfolk ran through the streets trading overgrown turnips at these rates—the markets would be reduced to laughter and tears in record time.

SHIB Scam Alert: Don’t Get Stung by the Fake Zama Token!

Dr. Rand Hindi, the CEO and co-founder of Zama, took to X (formerly known as Twitter, but who’s counting?) to issue a warning that should concern the Shiba Inu and crypto community. “This is fake. There is no Zama token yet. Don’t get rekt, guys,” Hindi wrote, referring to an alert shared by a community member about the fake Zama token. 🚨

Bitcoin’s $111K Ceiling: Will It Break or Will It Bake? 🍞💰

On the 1-hour chart, bitcoin displayed a mild bullish recovery from the $107,300 level after enduring a sequence of red candles. However, volume tapered off, hinting at a pause in momentum and suggesting potential consolidation rather than continuation. The technical structure presents a clear resistance band at $108,500 to $109,000, with support anchored around $107,300. Intraday traders are advised to monitor a breakout above $109,000 accompanied by volume, as this may catalyze a short-term push toward $109,500 to $110,000. Conversely, a failure to sustain above $108,000 could see a reversion to lower support levels. 📈📉