Bolivia, a land where currency controls once choked the air like a poorly-tied cravat, now finds its citizens whispering sweet nothings to stablecoins. Why, you ask? Because when your fiat currency waltzes with inflation like it’s a tango partner, a dollar-pegged token starts looking as appealing as a cold martini at a desert soiree. 🍸
Wall Street, that grand hall of dusty money wizards, has been as committed to crypto as a cat to a bath. But now, Morgan Stanley is throwing its hat into the ring, partnering with a digital asset “wizard” named Zerohash. Let’s just hope they don’t turn our savings into digital confetti. 🎉
This new marvel allows users to earn Bitcoin on every purchase, a feat akin to finding gold in your coffee ☕. Fold promises up to 3.5% back in Bitcoin, with 2% instantly and 1.5% more if you play nice with their checking account. A limited-time offer, of course, because greed must be tempered by corporate ethics. 🤷♂️
Now, out of those 203, they’ve already frozen or taken crypto from 161 individuals, and the recovered loot? Oh, about 1.5 billion won-or $1.1 million for those of you not keeping score in Korean won. Pretty decent haul for a bunch of tax dodgers, eh? 💸
BlackRock has stealthily built its crypto empire!👇
In less than 2 years, their Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs are bringing in over $260M a year. Who knew crypto could be so lucrative, right?
🔸 $218M from Bitcoin
🔸 $42M from Ethereum
A quarter-billion-dollar operation, almost overnight. Meanwhile, other companies are still figuring out how to make their first million…
Observe, dear reader, the curious spectacle of ETFs and ETPs pouring a horde of $127 million into Solana over the past week. Fifteen merciless weeks of positive flows-like some eternal Sisyphus pushing a boulder of capital uphill-have pressed total assets under management to a towering $4.3 billion. Are these institutional titans truly the saviors of Solana, or simply shadowy puppeteers tightening their grip on a restless beast? The broader crypto inferno may flicker and falter, but these products ensure the flame of Solana’s price flickers stoutly on the altar of investor fancy.
This 24/7 off-ramp is so regulated, it’s like a bank but with more blockchain and fewer tellers. 🏦✨
Ethereum, our once proud stallion, led the mad dash to the exit with roughly nine hundred million dollars liquidated-momentarily outrunning Bitcoin, as if to say, “I can fall faster too!”
According to Bubblemaps’ X announcement, this isn’t just some digital scribbling; it’s meant to be the “Wikipedia of investigations.” Here, evidence is etched into eternity, impact is ranked like a bad joke at a party, and the community is the judge, jury, and executioner. Contributors dig up receipts, earn street cred, and track threats that slither cross-chain – like open-source gumshoes with a knack for sniffing out trouble in the dark. 🔎🔥
Filed in the US Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware-because apparently drama needs a venue-the lawsuit drags in Genesis Digital, its affiliates, and co-founders Rashit Makhat and Marco Krohn. The trust insists these folks have been playing musical chairs with FTX’s money, and now it’s time to return the favors… and the billions.
