SBF’s Legal Gambit: Dice With Justice đŸŽČ

The defense, in a performance worthy of Chekhov’s grumpiest character, claims the judge played judicial jiu-jitsu, blocking evidence that FTX’s coffers brimmed with enough assets to satisfy withdrawals. đŸ€Ą “Perhaps,” they sigh, “the jury would have found him innocent if they’d known he wasn’t broke
 just strategically solvent.”

FTX Drops ‘Restricted’ Plan – But Will It Stay Down? đŸ€”

The FTX Recovery Trust, that tireless pilgrim, filed a notice on Monday, surrendering its quest to freeze payouts to 49 nations, from China’s silent towers to Russia’s frostbitten plains. “If the Trust seeks to renew its plea, it shall do so with a new petition and a warning,” the notice declared, as if the court were a fickle lover.

Dogecoin Whales Offload Billions in DOGE-Is the DOGE Price Rally at Risk of Plunging to $0.1?

Ah, the age-old tale of the mighty whale, who once filled the waters with their majestic presence but now swims away, leaving only ripples of despair behind. Dogecoin, much like a man walking through a cold winter’s night, is feeling the chill. As large wallet holders continue to reduce their exposure, the price, much like a weary traveler, falls below $0.18. This is no mere coincidence; it mirrors the broader downturn in the market-a reflection of the larger chaos that governs this financial landscape. And yet, some argue that this is mere strategy-an intelligent play of risk management before some unknown event. But as liquidity tightens and accumulation wanes, one must ask: Is the story of Dogecoin’s rise nothing more than a fleeting dream?

Hyperliquid’s Whale Drama: $36 or Bust!

Hyperliquid Technical Analysis

At press time, Hyperliquid was chilling at $37.63, down 9% in the last 24 hours. 📉 Over the week, it’s down 20%, and over the month, it’s lost 25% of its value. Basically, it’s 36% below its all-time high of $59.3 from September 18. So, yeah, it’s been a rough few weeks. 😬

Wintermute CEO Wipes the Floor with Binance Lawsuit Rumors, Puts FUD to Bed

On X (formerly known as Twitter, but let’s not get into rebranding), Gaevoy made it abundantly clear that, despite the growing online chatter, his plans do not include filing a lawsuit against Binance, nor does he have any future plans to do so. If anything, he’s probably too busy running Wintermute to get involved in legal drama.

Cryptic Comedy: Altcoins’ Bizarre Plunge 📉😆

Bitcoin Dominance Chart

Enter MichaĂ«l van de Poppe, our intrepid crypto analyst, who declares with the flair of a name-dropping Nabokov, that the conundrum springs from an exasperatingly meager tradable supply. Picture, if you will, a scant 10% of an altcoin’s total supply for trading. Imagine the theater of one brash soul selling but 2% of this-such an act sends the market into a sensational frenzy. A rather thin order book cannot shoulder this insurmountable selling pressure, especially when many traders have already been vanquished in this fiscal month.