Our fearless seer bluntly states, “I’m bullish. I’m bullish. I’m bullish.” That’s right, three times for extra emphasis like some cheeky schoolboy cheek-slapping his desk. Meanwhile, Bitcoin might do a little jiggle downwards first, just to keep things spicy, before sprinting back to mop up the messy liquidity lying in puddles below.
Coincidentally, this stroke of magnanimous timing arrives just after the S&P 500 flicks its tail and somersaults to a new zenith, rekindling ferocious appetite for market shenanigans. And as usual, the retail hoi polloi, ever the bargain hunters, surge forth seeking ever-cheaper tickets to the trading carnival, while centralized giants scramble to slather on digital grease for their cogs and gears.
Hyperliquid is planning to launch its own stablecoin, in a move that could reduce the decentralized exchange’s (DEX) dependency on Circle’s USDC. Like, why not just stick with what works? But no, let’s reinvent the wheel. 🛠️
The rumor mill began grinding thanks to an oracle known as “Bloomingbit,” who, with the precision of a cat nabbing a laser dot, caught wind of these trademark incantations. The filings speak in tongues about blockchain sorcery, next-gen digital identities worthy of spies, and arcane infrastructures where digital assets may be conjured and traded. “GIWA” translates quaintly as “Tile” in Korean, suggesting it might be the humble cornerstone of an empire of on-chain enchantments-or simply a fancy new jigsaw piece for app builders.
And the numbers? Oh, they’re as ugly as your ex’s new haircut. Outflows hit $352 million last week despite all the hype around risky assets getting cozy after a weak US jobs report and whispers of interest rate cuts. But wait-there’s more! The real drama queen here is Ether (ETH), which bled a staggering $912 million in just one week. Meanwhile, Bitcoin (BTC) struts onto the scene with $524 million in inflows because apparently, it can’t quit being relevant. Classic BTC energy. 💁♀️
MegaETH, the blockchain network that processes transactions faster than you can say “real-time,” announced on Monday the launch of its very own native stablecoin. It’s called USDm, and it’s making waves with Ethena, the DeFi protocol that’s growing faster than a weed in a garden.
Now, let’s set the stage. On the 8th of September, Eightco Holdings Inc. (sounds like a big deal, right?) proudly announced a $250 million private placement. But wait-there’s more! A charming $20 million from BitMine Immersion made its way into Eightco’s treasure chest to scoop up Worldcoin (WLD). Yes, you heard that right. Worldcoin, the futuristic token of “proof-of-personhood” (you know, for when your ID just doesn’t cut it in an AI world) is now Eightco’s shiny new asset. 💎
Declining spot buying and spot Ethereum ETF outflows signal weakening demand.
Ah, Bakkt. The company that could have been-well, let’s be real, they’ve had a few hiccups, but now they’re giving it another shot. Wall Street broker Benchmark decided to bless us with a Monday morning report, and guess what? They’ve initiated coverage on the stock. And surprise, surprise: they’re saying, “Buy it, folks!” with a $13 price target. Because why not, right? 💸
With the enthusiasm of a poet waxing lyrical about blockchain (yes, that’s a thing now), Nasdaq has filed with the U.S. SEC to tokenize securities. One might ask, “Why?” But in the world of finance, the answer is often, “Because we can.”
