Ah, the grand tragedy of capital markets-a restless beast in the throes of metamorphosis. As cruel monetary policies cast their gloomy beams over a world already rent asunder, one cannot help but observe with a kind of grim amusement the rise of blockchain as a thorn in the side of ancient, creaking financial empires.
Data from CoinGlass, a place where numbers dance and sometimes tell tales, reveals that on September 6th, the speculative excitement around DOGE took a much-needed nap. Over the last 24 hours, the open interest in DOGE-a measure of how many people are betting on its future-showed a mere 0.13% decline. 🐶📉
The tale unfurled in Paris, a city of lights and revelations, where the Financial Action Task Force (FATF), Egmont Group, INTERPOL, and the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) unveiled their handbook-a modern-day grimoire of financial sorcery. 📜🔍
How’d they do it? Increased hashrate, baby! They bumped it up to a massive 59.6 EH/s and even got their Texas wind farms involved. If only I could find a way to turn my apartment fan into a money-making machine. 🌬️
This is the second time this has occurred in 2025, which, frankly, is a bit show-offy. The last time (February 2025, for those keeping track – though why would you?) was followed by months of… well, let’s call it “thoughtful contemplation” at approximately $0.00001. Which is, you know, a price.
In a recent joint staff statement, the SEC’s Division of Trading and Markets and the CFTC’s Divisions of Market Oversight and Clearing & Risk finally decided to play nice. They announced that registered exchanges can now facilitate trading in certain spot crypto-asset products. It’s like they finally found the “on” switch for crypto innovation! 💡🚀
Cardano is once again pressing against a long-term descending trendline, and the price action is showing signs that a breakout could finally be in play. The bulls are holding strong, and Jesse Peralta believes that once ADA breaks, it could start looking parabolic. Momentum indicators suggest that buyers are gradually tightening their grip. It’s like they’re all whispering, “Just a little more…” 🙏
Backed by a $200M “commitment” from regional partners (read: investors who’ve never held a Bitcoin without a lawyer nearby), the fund aims to gobble up $1B worth of BTC in six months. A veritable feast for the blockchain elite, though one wonders if the feast is for the cows or the farmers.
BitBull, this crypto oracle with the personality of a wet sock, says we need to reclaim $114k. On the daily timeframe! Because nothing says “confidence” like taking forever to cross a line that’s basically a landmine. And if we fail? Oh, it’s not just a bad day-it’s a full-blown disaster. Like when you accidentally send your life savings to a scammer who replies with “LOL, nice try.” 😅
A plethora of reports, some undoubtedly more imaginative than factual, suggest M reached the lofty summit of $1.69 on a fateful Friday before graciously retreating to the less perilous $1.60, while the volume of trade in the 24-hour span bloomed past $53 million. At this present moment-do not forget we live in a fleeting present-M had ascended by a staggering 250% in just one seething week, if one were to subscribe to data from Coingecko.