Let’s talk about September. A month that has historically been as friendly to Bitcoin as a rainy Monday morning. The stats say it’s the weakest month of the year for BTC, with a record of never closing more than 8% higher. So, naturally, traders are trying to make sense of the charts in the hope that this time might be… different. Spoiler alert: It probably won’t be.
The crypto market, that grand theater of human greed and folly, has entered yet another “decisive week.” Bitcoin, ever the stubborn patriarch, clings to its throne with a mere 0.42% dip, while Ethereum, the restless prodigy, takes a 4.5% tumble from its lofty $4,800 perch. Poor ETH-its weekly candle burns red for the first time in August, like a poet whose verses have been rejected by the muse herself.
The recent sell-off appears to have been led by institutional traders, who offloaded over 60M XLM worth about $24.6M. This is the financial equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum in a library. Also, DeFi TVL slipped from $143.35M to $142.48M month-on-month, which is like watching a snail lose a race. Competitors like Solana and BSC are sprinting ahead, while XLM is still figuring out how to tie its shoes. So what’s in store for XLM in the near term? Let us decode the same in this price analysis, which is about as reliable as a weather forecast in a tornado. 🧨
According to the oracle himself, ENA is destined to leap a staggering 51 times, ETHFI a modest 34 times, and HYPE-oh, the audacity!-a jaw-dropping 126 times! One might wonder if he’s been sipping too much of that potent crypto elixir. 🍷
At the Manila Tech Summit (because every politician needs a tech summit these days), Bam Aquino-who, by the way, sounds like a character from a bad sitcom-pitched this idea like it was the next sliced bread.
As of now, shares betting on Johnson’s victory are trading at a modest 7 cents. This implies there’s a 7% chance-yes, just 7%-of the man who once suplexed opponents for a living securing the Democratic nomination. Not bad for a guy who’s mainly known for his eyebrow raises and jaw-dropping movie roles, right? Still, he’s in fourth place, trailing behind Gavin Newsom, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Pete Buttigieg.
Let’s face it, when Edward Snowden gives a thumbs up to a VPN service, you don’t ask questions. You just sign up. The man knows a thing or two about keeping secrets. But if you’re still living in the dark ages of credit card payments, hoping the internet forgets what you bought five years ago-well, good luck with that. The Nym-Dash partnership lets you make those payments in a way that doesn’t involve your favorite credit card company knowing more about you than your therapist.
Pseudonymous crypto analyst Setupsfx, a name as mysterious as a shadow in a London alley, has declared on TradingView that Dogecoin has landed at a “critical support level” above $0.20. This, dear reader, is the last redoubt in the eternal struggle between bulls and bears-a battle where the former have the upper hand, much to the latter’s dismay. 🐻
As of this very moment (or just yesterday’s moment, because time is quite the fickle creature), Ethereum [ETH] is looking as though it has its sights set on a grand departure past the $5,000 threshold. Think of it as an overexcited dog ready to leap over a very modestly high fence.
On what can only be described as a very Wednesday, these financial wizards announced they see Bitcoin as more than just a way to keep the inflation gremlins at bay; it’s a shining beacon in the murky waters of institutional treasury management. By making Bitcoin the cornerstone of their treasure chest, Falconedge plans to bulk up their crypto holdings, hoping to ride the BTC wave to untold riches and respectability in the digital finance realm. 🚀💰