In a move that has set the ton abuzz, the firm has filed an S-1 with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), seeking approval to launch the Bitwise Chainlink ETF. This fund, my dear reader, is designed to track the spot price of LINK, a token as enigmatic as a rake in a romance novel. 💍📈
As of August 26, 2025, this little escapade has ballooned their portfolio to a jaw-dropping valuation of approximately $3.7 billion. Quite the tidy sum, wouldn’t you say? This audacious move is a testament to SharpLink’s ongoing strategy to cultivate a rather impressive ETH treasury-because who doesn’t want a little digital gold in their back pocket? 💰
And so the farce continues! This WAI token, having undergone its ritualistic flogging on the markets, now finds itself listed in the halls of Kucoin, Gate, MEXC, and Bitget. One imagines the ticker tape not as numbers, but as the anxious sweat of ten thousand souls, each betting their misery on a few lines of code. The irony is so thick one could choke on it.
In January 2024, Nasdaq, that gatekeeper of modern finance, unleashed 11 spot bitcoin ETFs, allowing investors to bask in crypto’s glow without the burden of self-custody. Since then, these funds have amassed $53.9 billion-enough to buy a small kingdom. 🏰
This amusing gap between optimism and reality is, of course, a glaring reminder that there are risks lurking in the world of leveraged trading, particularly when traders are feeling *extra optimistic*… or perhaps just plain delusional. The kind of optimism that has one betting on a horse with three legs. 🐴💥
Ripple [XRP], ever the fickle flirt, might experience a brief cooldown as those sizable exchange inflows seem to whisper, “Time to take a little breather,” possibly nudging the price down to somewhere between $2.8 and $3.0.
OKB [OKB] gave back some of last week’s market gains. The altcoin prices plunged nearly 10% in the past 24 hours on the daily chart. 🚀➡️📉
Just weeks ago, they were singing a different tune, blissfully unaware that the gods of finance would intervene. No cuts, they proclaimed! As steadfast as the trees in autumn, or so they thought. 🍂
According to Ronghui Gu, a professor of computer science at Columbia University and co-founder of CertiK-a blockchain security platform that sounds like it should be guarding Fort Knox-hackers are like mosquitoes buzzing around a picnic. They only need one tiny opening, one weak link (usually human), to ruin everything. 🦟
Ah yes, the infamous “on-chain performance.” Turns out Sui’s blockchain activity has been as exciting as watching paint dry recently. According to Messari (whoever they are), average daily DEX volume grew 21% quarter-on-quarter to $368 million-but before you break out the champagne, let’s talk about the fine print. Platforms like Momentum skyrocketed 8,594%. Yes, you read that right: EIGHT THOUSAND PERCENT. 🚀 Meanwhile, FlowX Finance soared 1,548%. But hold your applause because Cetus, the so-called “largest DEX,” stayed flat at $170.7 million. Flatlining is not exactly what we call thrilling entertainment.
