In the latest headline-making drama, the Bank of England (self-styled as our nation’s financial BFF) released a piece of literature – apparently not a novel or my TBR list – titled “Proposed Regulatory Regime for Sterling-Denominated Systemic Stablecoins.” This little document dares to propose letting issuers have a bit of fun by investing up to 60% in government debt. How mature. 📈
The Treasury and that grumpy lot at the IRS have released a document – Revenue Procedure 2025-31, just in case you’re desperate to know – that allows these crypto ETFs to stake their digital treasures without turning into something horribly complicated for the taxman.
Ah, the sublime theater of bureaucracy! The U.S. government, that lumbering leviathan, teeters on the brink of resurrection, with Polymarket’s soothsayers decreeing a 95% chance of its revival by November 12. A leap from yesterday’s meager 60%, as traders, those merry speculators, frantically jettison their “No” positions like rats fleeing a sinking ship. The markets, ever the dramatic prima donnas, react with giddy relief: the dollar simpers, crypto pirouettes, and futures soar. Yet, as always, Polymarket’s augurs whisper the news before the official heralds deign to confirm it. 🧙♂️✨
Apparently, a bunch of people who bought Bitcoin when it cost roughly the price of a decent sandwich (Long-Term Holders, the analysts call them; sounds important) have decided to cash out. Over 370,000 Bitcoins worth! That’s… a lot of sandwiches. 🥪
Lawmakers, no doubt weary of the endless bickering and the haunting echo of “shutdown” in their dreams, moved with a haste that would make a hare blush. One insider, perhaps still in disbelief, quipped: “I thought they wouldn’t be done until later tonight, but they sped through that. They want out of this town.” Ah, the sweet escape from duty! 🏃♂️💨
Starting Nov. 11, selected users will receive this magical product, while the rest of us wait patiently, sipping tea and wondering if our accounts will sprout wings. The funds, of course, are held by ClearBank, so you’re as safe as a squirrel in a vault. 🐿️
This legislative pirouette unveils not only a rare harmony between parties but also a discordant melody over the CFTC’s capacity. Bookmark a moment of perplexity as Senator Booker espouses the need for a robust infrastructure to regulate a trillion-dollar frolic, while the current ensemble barely musters an ensemble of one active commissioner. Democrats sigh with wary optimism, yet demand that at least two future commissioners dance to their tune.
The announcement from BitMine Immersion Technologies – a name that sounds suspiciously like something out of a Jules Verne novel – revealed they’d acquired a hefty 110,288 Ether. This brings their total to a rather staggering 3,505,723 ETH, all purchased at an average cost of $3,639 a pop. Good heavens!
Am Sonntag haben die Senatoren den magischen Schlüssel zu den Gates der Regierung gefunden. Die Stimmung am Markt ist schon so optimistisch, dass sogar die Wirtschaftsrabauken von Herzen lachen – außer natürlich, wenn sie im Lotto verloren haben. Die Kryptos scheinen auf den Zug aufzuspringen: Auf zu neuen Höhen! 🚀💸
Maxwell Stein, ein Mitglied des Digital-Assets-Teams bei BlackRock, hat seine Meinung über die Finanzwelt der Zukunft laut und deutlich auf der Bühne verkündet. Und was war das Hauptthema? Natürlich Ripple! Was für ein Wunder. Er erwähnte, dass Ripple bereits Anleihen, Stablecoins und andere Vermögenswerte auf die Blockchain brachte. Und jetzt könnte Blockchain wirklich Kapitalströme im Trillionenbereich bewegen. Ein echter Durchbruch, oder?
