Cryptonews

“I’m sorry, crypto media,” he lamented, “that you guys are […] and you just want clickbait headlines. You guys have to cut this the […] out.” His words, punctuated by the kind of sardonic humor Nabokov himself might appreciate, flew like arrows aimed at the heart of journalistic sensationalism. “Not a single person in the Cardano ecosystem who I am blaming for our DeFi situation right now,” he reiterated, as if addressing a room full of particularly dense students.

“Huge. Bitcoin has now performed worse than US Treasuries in 2025 “

As Bitcoin struts back up to center stage, it’s not the main star any longer, thank goodness. Just look at these altcoins-like the BFFs they are-getting jittery with every Bitcoin facelift. Poor things, let’s dive right in!

It all kicked off around 7:48 AM UTC on a Monday. Because Mondays, naturally. About $24.5 million worth of WETH, $26.9 million of osETH, and $19.3 million of wstETH started doing a vanishing act, along with a bunch of other tokens. All whisked away to brand new wallets, presumably decorated with little hacker flags. 🏴‍☠️

Ethereum’s 200-day exponential moving average (EMA) – which, for a while, was behaving rather like a very polite bouncer – has officially been breached. A structural breakdown, they call it. Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it? It basically means the chance of a quick bounce-back is about as likely as a sensible conversation with a troll. We’re looking at a proper bearish phase, not just a small hiccup. A full-blown, capital-G Grim situation.

Yet, in true Soviet fashion, the analysts persist-divided not by data, but by ideology. Some cling to the party line of eternal bull runs, while others, like thawing prisoners from the crypto gulag, whisper of long winters ahead.

The RSI is basically waving a giant neon sign saying: “Overbought! Reverse! Reverse! 🛑”

Take a gander at the WIF/USD 1-hour chart-quiet as a mouse after a multi-day downtrend. Currently, the token is sitting pretty at around $0.406. Not exactly a thrill ride, but it could be worse. Open interest (OI) is hanging out at $75.5 million, a far cry from the peaks we saw last week. What’s that tell us? The traders who bet on the big moves have likely taken their profits or just closed shop entirely. Smart move, eh? 🤑

On the technical front, XRP has recently formed a death cross on its 10-day and 20-day Exponential Moving Averages (EMAs) at the $2.70 level. Technical analyst @ChartNerdTA muses, “Death crosses are lagging indicators, like a sigh after the storm has passed.” They often signal that the worst of the pain has been felt, but who can say? 🌑

Palisade’s toolkit? Multi-party computation (MPC) for key management and blockchain support for XRPL, Ethereum, and Solana. A tech buffet, if you will. But let’s be real: it’s the MPC wizardry that makes this deal sparkle. After all, who doesn’t want their keys split like a Russian roulette round?