Cryptonews

Behold the 4-hour chart, where BTC stands at a crossroads, as if auditioning for a tragic hero’s role. The ascending triangle-its edges sharp as a critic’s quill-clutches the price tight, while $90,000 looms below, a horizontal support line as inviting as a bear’s cave in winter. Should it fall, the major trendline awaits, ready to scribble a darker chapter. Yet a prior false breakout upwards suggests the market enjoys a game of cat-and-mouse, and perhaps a downward swindle is in store.

AVAX, that sly fox, clocked 1.7 million daily active addresses, a number that makes your average TikTok influencer blush. DeFi, tokenization, RWAs-oh, the drama! This surge, like a river breaking its banks, lifted the token’s price, whispering of institutional confidence. 💸

In a plot twist worthy of a detective novel, the villain withdrew 1,299 ETH in a single transaction. Our friends at PeckShield reported that the sneaky attacker was outsmarted by a sharp MEV builder during the transaction execution-a revelation that makes one ponder the intricacies of blockchain blockages.

Pump.fun, once the darling of degenerate gamblers and meme lords, has announced its first attempt at legitimacy: the Pump Fund. This is not just a pivot-it is a full-blown ideological retreat from the frothy madness of memecoins. The platform now claims to seek “structured, long-term capital deployment,” a phrase so dull it could put Solzhenitsyn to sleep.

Three people are now officially in trouble because Korea’s foreign exchange laws don’t appreciate your “creative accounting” methods. The investigation took years because, let’s be honest, following crypto transactions is about as fun as watching paint dry. 🥱

Look, it’s following the Bitcoin and Ethereum script, which is… predictable. Like, everyone saw this coming, right? Just another $140 and $138 support level casually abandoned. 🙄

Initially, access will be granted to a select few-those fortunate enough to have latency-sensitive applications, as if they were prized racehorses in a betting ring. Full public access, however, is promised shortly after the initial phase concludes, giving everyone else a chance to join the fray.

Indeed, Pump.fun has announced the creation of this “Pump Fund,” a name brimming with… well, with enthusiasm, if little else. The pronouncement arrived on December 20th (a date which shall surely be remembered for centuries to come), accompanied by a “Build in Public” hackathon. One can only imagine the chaos. 😹

The ring, which shuffled $102 million through WeChat Pay, Alipay, and a glittering array of offshore exchanges, mastered the art of disguising illicit gains as vanity expenses. 🕵️♂️ Cosmetic surgery payments? Student fees? How quaintly bourgeois.

Three altcoins-XRP, Axie Infinity (AXS), and Dusk (DUSK)-are the darlings of the crypto world this week, but beware-these coins might just be leading you into a financial trap, unless you’ve got a plan as solid as a brick wall. 🚨