Once revered by over 250,000 users, Fortress strutted into the scene as Ripple’s hopeful bride, only to end up scarred and on the chopping block after a botched €15 million security booby trap in 2023. Now Nevada’s regulators, tired of the same old song about asset mismatches and cowboy bookkeeping, have slapped a cease-and-desist order on Fortress, freezing its assets faster than you can say “solvency.”
Their X thread, a digital tapestry of self-congratulation, proclaims rewards. Tokens here, tokens there, buybacks orchestrated like some baroque financial dance. The whole affair reeks faintly of smoke and mirrors, doesn’t it? They give with one hand (tokens) and take with the other (trading requirements). The eternal cycle. It’s all very… human. And slightly exhausting.
According to CryptoQuant’s TeddyVision (clearly a PhD in cryptospeak), Ethereum’s currently trading above its “Realized Price” of $2,300. Dubbed a “fundamental support zone” by our brave analyst, this is where ETH’s last gasp turns into a revival meeting. After all, dips below it usually mean the market’s throwing a mandatory crying session, a la breakup with a Roomba.
Changpeng “CZ” Zhao, the founder of Binance, pleaded guilty in November 2023 to a most grievous sin: failing to implement an adequate Anti-Money Laundering program, a transgression that has left the market in a state of perpetual anxiety. 🧨
Prepare for a seismic shift in the financial stratosphere-or at least a very loud PowerPoint presentation. T. Rowe Price, a firm so large it could probably buy Jupiter if it wanted to, filed a 367-page S-1 registration statement with the SEC on Oct. 22, 2025, for its “T. Rowe Price Active Crypto ETF.” This is either the most audacious move since someone invented meme stocks or the universe’s way of saying, “Here we go again.”
It’s not every day that a Bitcoin relic from 2011 decides to shake off the dust and move its substantial fortune. But, lo and behold, one such relic thought, “Why not stir things up?” and made a rather dramatic transfer.
Breaking News: Solana, the “People’s Coin™,” Thinks It’s a Lamborghini
Total open interest (OI) in bitcoin options has climbed near $65 billion – the highest ever recorded. The market is humming with leverage, conviction, and just enough nerves to keep everyone awake. 🕵️♂️
Speaking at a Turning Point USA event on October 22, Carlson declared with confidence that he would rather gnaw off his own arm than invest in Bitcoin. Why? Well, according to him, it’s a tool crafted by financial elites to exercise ultimate control over society. And you thought your bank charging you fees was bad. Buckle up, folks, it gets better.
The deal’s details? Shrouded in mystery, like a Bolshevik’s diary. 📜 But here’s the juicy bit: the entire Stable Finance crew, led by the enigmatic Mario Baxter Cabrera, is now part of the Aave family. 🧑💻 Cabrera, now Aave’s director of product, will wield his magic wand over consumer-focused DeFi initiatives. Abracadabra, finance for the masses! 🎩
