The centerpiece of this union is OKX’s collateral mirroring programme, a fancy term for letting institutions park their assets in the vaults of a Global Systemically Important Bank (G-SIB) while they frolic in the digital asset markets. It’s like having your cake and eating it too, though one wonders if the cake is made of blockchain or just frosted with regulatory compliance. 🍰
According to a press release that could’ve been written by a robot (judging by the enthusiasm), they’re focusing on peaq’s “Machine Economy Free Zone” – a fancy sandbox where robots can test their ability to not, like, malfunction or murder humans. Bonus points for compliance!
According to the royal “insider,” Sam’s political views have been all over the map. In 2020, he was all about being center-left, but by 2022, Gensler’s crypto crackdown and the Biden DOJ made him switch sides faster than you change TV channels during commercials. Spoiler alert: he secretly started donating millions to the other guys – the Republicans. Shocking, I know.
He says, “In 2020, I was center-left. By 2022-having seen Gensler/Biden’s crypto raid-I was a centrist, and I secretly sent tens of millions to Republicans.” Just casually handing out millions like it’s Monopoly money. CBS reports he dropped a cool $40 million in 2022, with most of it supporting Democrats, because, why not keep everyone guessing? 😂
Gold’s rally reflects safe-haven demand amid geopolitical tensions, while Bitcoin’s correction stemmed from $9 billion in leveraged liquidations – not fundamental weakness.
They say Habib and his son are accused of conjuring a scheme so slick it would make Houdini jealous-promising sky-high returns on Bitcoin and Binance tokens, as if money grows on hair follicles or some magic crypto shampoo.
Despite fancy rules like MiCA and MAS, only a handful of countries seem to have their ducks in a row. Most are just trying to herd cats, which, let me tell you, is about as easy as herding wildcats with a broken whip.
“We’re going to continue to play offense,” Garlinghouse declared, probably with a grin and a wink. Ripple’s ambitions aren’t just about payments anymore. Oh no, now it’s about custody, stablecoins, and apparently collecting companies like Pokémon cards. They recently shelled out $1.25 billion for prime broker Hidden Road and dropped $200 million on enterprise stablecoin provider Rail. And, trust me, they’re not done yet. “More announcements coming soon,” Garlinghouse teased. Of course, he’s confident it’s time to invest. Because, why not?
Kraken, that paragon of international crypto, has snatched the Small Exchange of IG Group for a mere 100 million, a transaction so modest it could fit in a teacup, yet it’s hailed as a “massive” leap into the U.S. derivatives arena, where regulations are as tight as a nun’s corset. 🧣
Bitwise analysts argue that selling pressure has likely peaked, and that dips may be good buying opportunities. 🤡 “Because nothing says ‘I’m a genius’ like buying when everyone’s crying.”
Those popular cryptos that were strutting their stuff in early October? They’re now facing the financial equivalent of a hangover, with profit-taking and forced liquidations turning the party into a wake. Looks like we’re in for a spot of consolidation or correction-or, as I like to call it, “the universe reminding us who’s boss.” 🌌👑
