Cryptonews

SoSoValue, that oracle of digits, whispers of May’s $564 million and April’s $66.25 million, now mere footnotes in this grand ballet of capital. March’s $403 million outflow? A distant memory, like a forgotten lover’s name. Cumulative inflows now stand at $9.64 billion, a 129% surge from June. The ETFs, once shy debutantes, now strut like prima ballerinas, claiming 4.77% of Ethereum’s market cap. 🎭

The crypto prophet dropped an absolute bombshell: “You still don’t own enough Bitcoin for what’s coming.” Yes, apparently the future is so bright, even your wallet needs sunglasses—and perhaps an intervention. 😎

Now, BNB has this fancy trick: a limited supply of 200 million coins, and every so often, Binance “burns” some of them. Like, they lock them up in a digital vault and say, “These are gone forever!” Because nothing says “trust us” like deleting your own product. 🧨

The leading digital currency, Ethereum, suffered a significant blow with approximately $233.71 million worth of positions being wiped out, with around $200.79 million being long bets. Bitcoin, in second place, had liquidations amounting to $134.40 million, primarily consisting of $125.45 million in long positions. These two prominent cryptocurrencies accounted for nearly 60% of the total market’s liquidations combined.

While Bitcoin stumbles like a knight with a broken lance, TRON continues its daring march, making headlines while others pack their bags. In a twist worthy of a tale by the great Tolstoy, TRX’s valor is rooted in the strange symphony of market forces—its dance partner being Ethereum, which seems to have the grace of a Russian noblewoman, outpacing Bitcoin’s more clumsy steps.

Did he speak of looming apocalyptic tides on some digital Babel tower? Certainly. Hayes, our soothsayer in a digital age, warns that the expiration of the US tariff bill is mere steps toward chaos. As if markets heed his warning and do a cautious shuffle—“Ah,” he muses, “the market’s just waiting for the NFP print to confirm our collective doom or fortune.” No economy spins enough credit fast enough—no surprise, the world’s printers are on strike—so Bitcoin and Ethereum might be the last bastions of salvation, or perhaps humor, in this mad parade. 🤡

BNB: The Overachiever With a Trust Fund

Bonk (BONK) is now trading lower than my self-esteem after reading internet comments, at just below $0.000026. Down 8% in a day, 27% in a week. Volumes? $570 million. That’s a lot of people panic-selling and/or YOLOing in the same breath. Everyone’s staring at this cartoonishly important support; apparently, what happens here could shape BONK’s next personality arc.

This ballet of descent, you ask? Well, let us delve into the possible choreographers of this dramatic performance, ranging from the grand gestures of global economic uncertainty to the subtle steps of substantial ETH withdrawals.

Behold, the digital gold rush hath birthed a new breed of madcap alchemists—Bitdeer, with a gleam in their corporate eye, hath added 38 BTC to their vault, now clutching a grand total of 1,675.9 BTC like a dragon guarding its hoard. 🐉 Is this the height of wisdom or the nadir of madness? One might … Read more