Cryptonews

The SEC, known for its stern gaze and iron-clad regulations, has set its sights on the crypto frontier. Project Crypto is their latest endeavor, a grand plan to bring order to the wild west of digital currencies. For XRP and SOL, this means navigating a sea of legal questions and market volatility. It’s enough to make a poor investor wish they were back in the days of simple stocks and bonds. 🤷‍♂️

Bitcoin took a deep breath and then looked around, realizing it had lost 3.2% of its swagger—and just enough volatility to make even the most seasoned traders reach for the antacids. By afternoon, it had pulled itself up to a slightly less embarrassing $113,820, but not before dragging its market cap down to a measly $2.26 trillion (a humble brag in crypto terms). Over the past week, our dear digital darling is down 2.1% against the mighty dollar, proving yet again that in crypto, today’s hero is tomorrow’s cautionary tale. The wider digital asset universe wasn’t spared either, with an impressive wave of liquidations—$863.61 million worth of traders trying to hold onto their shirts, but mostly their wallets.

Meanwhile, the coin did give us a little hope—bounced a tiny bit to $0.40—like a rubber duck bobbing in a cesspool. This dip, however, is part of a larger drama unfolding: an impending release of 150 million PI tokens over the next 30 days. Fancy a fireworks show? Nope, just a slow-motion financial car crash.

On the hourly chart (because obviously, crypto traders now measure time in coffee breaks), ETH’s 50-hour moving average decided to play limbo under the 200-hour one. Is this a sign of doom? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just the market’s way of saying, “Hold my beer and watch this.” 📉

DOGE is one of the biggest losers today, plummeting 7.26%—which, if it were a dog walking backwards down a mountain in a suit, would be called “graceful.”

What does it mean? Who knows. But let’s pretend we’re experts for a second.

Bitcoin tries to rebound like it’s auditioning for a comeback special, thanks to US jobs data that’s weaker than my morning coffee. ☕

So, what’s the deal? The FCA, that group of people who probably still don’t know what a blockchain is, has decided to let regular investors buy crypto ETNs again. But only if they’re on “approved” platforms. Because nothing says “trust us” like a government agency that’s also a master of bureaucracy. 🤡

President Trump, compulsive chronicler of his own legend, returned to the social media stage with the subtlety of a brass band at a chess tournament, launching barbed prose at Jerome Powell, the Fed Chair. The demand? Slice those interest rates, and do it now! Or else shake things up in a most theatrical fashion.

Atkins’ speech, titled with the subtlety of a fireworks manifesto—“American Leadership in the Digital Finance Revolution”—unveiled Project Crypto, a bureaucratic ballet to modernize securities law for the blockchain age. “We are at the threshold of a new era,” he droned, as if reciting from a script written by a sleep-deprived poet. The SEC chair, with the gravitas of a man who’s never met a metaphor he didn’t like, promised to “modernize the SEC’s custody requirements” while defending self-custody like it was the last loaf of bread in a post-apocalyptic world. One could almost hear the crickets of Wall Street’s compliance departments.